#i'm just very slow sometimes 🫶

[starryjkoo]

I love your blog and I’m just using this as a space to sort my thoughts, sorry if that’s a bother at all!

I just want to get it off my chest that after Jk’s performance in Times Square last week it really hit me all the sudden how much the company wants him to be the big pop star. I had heard people talk before ab how Jk’s promotions for seven/3d/golden were loads different than the other members solo projects but it didn’t really hit me until I saw him start to sing in Times Square. I know hobi played lolla and New Year’s Eve and Yoongi literally had a world tour so I’m probably being irrational a little.

I think it was just a little shocking to see jk up there like that and I couldnt help but think about the other members and how much I miss them as 7. It was like I could suddenly see jk as this big pop star and it scared me a little? And I know that’s selfish of me, I feel so guilty to feel that way

I also saw that jk passed 40mil spotify listeners, more than bts has currently and more than any other kpop soloist has reached before. I don’t know I’m just worried about scooter and the company pushing jk, idk if this is selfish but I want them to remain as seven and everything just feels so uncertain right now, I don’t know. Not sure if I’m even making sense haha

Hey! Thank you! I was sort of worried I’ve been a bit ranty and negative here so I’m glad someone enjoys this space. And it’s not a bother at all! Please feel free to share your thoughts here whenever! I know all my asks tend to turn into weird random long rambles, so never feel bad about sharing thoughts. And your ask made complete sense.

I totally understand. JK’s performance in Times Square hit me hard too. It was the first time I think the whole pop star thing really clicked in place for me and I saw the whole vision of what he’s been doing with Golden. I was kind of star struck in that moment and it really left a big impression on me. So I get why that moment may have really impacted you too.

And I don’t think it’s selfish of you to feel that way. You sound very kind about it. I’ve seen a lot of ARMYs express similar thoughts and I’ve felt that way a few times myself. Sometimes you’re just really hit with that longing to see the seven of them messing around in interviews or playing in the background of bangtan bombs or the insane rush whenever they drop new music or perform some insane stage together. Some of the solo performances have been really good but have occasionally left me with a kind of longing? But you’re not alone. I think a lot of ARMYs are super eager to see them back as seven which is where some of those kind of tasteless “hurry up and enlist” jokes are coming up. It’s pretty different from the beginning of the year when ARMYs didn’t even want to mention the “e” word.

I don’t actually think SB is trying to snatch JK out of BTS. I think they’re just being loud about his achievements because they want to advertise and highlight their whole A&R thing and uplift HYBE US through him. I also think that JK is being given a bigger push because he’s the only member who has released a commercial album, so his promotions match up with that. FACE and Golden and Indigo are very different albums with different goals and different ambitions, even if there seems to be a disconnect between their own goals and what fans think their goals should be. I do think HYBE should have done more for the other releases, but I don’t think they were neglecting them because they only want JK to succeed. I just think they were being cheap honestly. It’s not like JK was given all this push without conditions.

I also think JK is helping BTS stay in the public eye while the group takes a break. They’re actually all reaching different audiences and growing their brand in different ways which is kind of cool. I think Jhope was trying to reach a new crowd in the hip-hop community for example and I’ve actually seen a few people pulled in from OTS because they were J. Cole fans and checked out the RL after. So I think JK is pulling people in too by keeping BTS in the minds of that particular crowd. Notice how he also always introduces himself as “Jungkook of BTS”. He’s not trying to dissociate himself from the group at all. None of them are.

Also Spotify MLs aren't really the best metric to gauge popularity. There’s just a lot of factors to it including playlisting, and JK currently has four songs on the biggest and most coveted playlist on the app. JK also has a lot of collabs with popular artists who are actively releasing and promoting new music rn too which helps his MLs. BTS haven’t released a proper album in like three years and their last group song was an unpromoted fan song from the summer. The fact that they have so many MLs and so many daily streams despite all that is absolutely insane, especially when you consider most ARMYs are focused on their solo music which is spread across seven different profiles. BTS just seriously have such a massive amount of casual listeners. JKs stats are extremely impressive but I do think a lot of people are really underestimating how insanely popular BTS is and are putting too much emphasis on certain things like MLs. But when he passes their peak I’m sure you’re going to hear a lot of people trying to claim he’s bigger than the group. Twitter rn is just a dumpster fire from all directions though so I wouldn't take much you read on there too seriously.

I just think a lot of people are underestimating how insanely huge BTS is, not even musically, but also just as a brand. It’s pretty rare for people to know who the members are individually honestly (at least in my country), but a lot of people I know have heard of BTS. There has literally never been a group like BTS before, there’s just really nothing to compare them to, which is what I think has a lot of people tripping up. It’s impossible to have a “Justin Timberlake” of the group for example when they’re all individually capable of selling out stadiums, something not even some of the most popular western artists can do.

Anyways, I totally empathize with how you're feeling lately, and no one can really say for sure what will happen in the future, but I’ve personally only grown more confident as CH2 has gone on that they’re going to return as a group and return strong. Group releases will probably be slower and they’ll probably all still have a focus on their solo careers, but they seem to really be looking forward to being a group again because they keep bringing it up. They’re all also so insanely ambitious, I’m sure they’re thinking about how to take some of their records back and how to break some new insane record no one even imagined possible. Also their solo careers are just getting started too. We might see Jimin doing that stage he told Hobi he’d do in Antarctica and Taehyung in Hollywood so I wouldn’t be worried about anyone falling behind either.

[hencheri]

Mark and cock warming. Maybe he slaps the reader 🫶🏾

18+. mdni.

hard dom!mark :(

.

mark doesn't fuck slow and steady. he fucks like he can never get enough — fucks like his dick is going to fall off. it never ends without a mess either, whether it's his cum everywhere on your body or the bottom half of his face covered in your arousal, there's always a mess.

but there are those days where mark wants to be intimate, where he needs you as close to him as possible. sometimes he's very tired and he just needs to relax with some cuddles — and in mark's book, cuddling means cock warming.

he swears he doesn't have any dirty intentions, but he's still rock hard just at the thought of having your walls tightly hugging his cock (though, to his defence, he has to be hard to slide inside of you).

so you reluctantly agreed, letting him play with your pussy a little bit to get you wet enough for him. your back is facing him, his pelvis totally flushed against your ass with his arms wrapped around your waist.

surprisingly, mark is very silent, and you're the one who's bothered, face burning hot and teeth sinking into your bottom lip. his cheek is laid on your shoulder, eyes closed, listening to your breathing that is clearly irregular.

you shift a little, creating some friction and getting mark out of his slumber.

he tightly grips your hips, pulling you back on his cock. "stop squirming around," he groans, his breath hitting your uncovered neck, making you shiver slightly.

"sorry..." you mumble back in response, feeling a little embarrassed for not being able to just relax. how is he so calm with your pussy around him? he'd be pounding you down onto the mattress by now.

and just thinking about that has you clenching around mark involuntarily. he definitely felt that.

"baby." he warns you, his fingers digging into the fat of your hips, so, so close to your crotch.

you clench again, and he doesn't like that.

"what did i tell you?" he growls, delivering a sharp slap to your pussy, making you flinch out of surprise.

he takes a hold of your jaw, turning your face to the side so he can look you in the eye. you're speechless, only gulping down as mark looks really pissed off.

"you speak when talked to," he says through gritted teeth, glaring at you with angry eyes, eyebrows frowned. he presses down on your cheeks, and you wince out of pain, forcing your mouth open. "i'm not repeating myself ... what did i tell you?"

"to- to not move!" you say, trying to wiggle your face out of his painful hold, but mark follows your movement, steadying your head in place.

"why are you being a little brat? d'you always need me to dick you down?" he asks, his hand still remaining on your hips inching closer to your heat, nails sinking into your soft skin. "can't think straight with a cock in your stupid, little pussy, huh?"

that's rich coming from him when he's fucking you every chance he gets, but you won't comment on that if you don't want to be in more troubles.

"n-no," you manage to croak out, but it sounds a little sloppy due to your strained neck and mark's hand around your face.

"what was that?"

you inhale, taking in your breath, "no, i can't think straight, so you better fuck some sense into me."

and he chuckles right in your face, the corner of his mouth lifting up into a grin. he eyes you down, looking at your lips before going back up to your eyes.

"want it that bad, huh? little slut."

and he finally pushes you onto your stomach, holding your head down against the pillows. he immediately starts moving his hips back and forth, hard cock sliding between your walls, hitting all the right places that make you scream his name.

he spanks your ass, too, the sound of his skin hitting yours echoing in the room. mark doesn't go easy on you, and he doesn't hold back either, especially not since you quite literally asked him to fuck some sense into you. which he will gladly do.

[spideyhexx]

wanna sit between sejanus' legs while sej teaches coryo how to finger someone😵‍💫

anon I want you to know, I saw this last night before I went to bed and the scream I internally let out was insane 🫶 and I have not been able to stop thinking about it🫶and as you will see I did not hesitate with this!

Maybe you've experimented with small makeout sessions between you and Coryo while Sej watches and then the boys would switch, but that's as far as it's gone.

And Coryo let's it slip he has no idea how to pleasure a woman, so Sej decides the next night you're all together, he'll help him out.

Coryo sits near the end of the bed as you sit between Sej's legs, completely naked with your back to his chest. All of your faces are flushed and Sej knows he's gonna have to take the lead here.

"Now with my girl here, a few kisses would be a good start, but I think she's already worked up so we'll skip that," he says, his breath hitting your ear and you're blushing even more. You can't even look Coryo in the eyes, you feel so exposed and you love it.

Sej gently caresses your thigh, urging them to open more. "Be slow, not too fast, gotta build up the anticipation, right honey?" Sej presses a kiss behind your ear as his fingers trail like a ghost touch up and down your thigh. He'd continue this slow tease as Coryo watches in silence. Sej's fingers move closer to your heat, finding your clit.

You let out a gasp and you feel Sejanus smile against you. "She needs this spot rubbed, slow at first but then you can move a little faster, she'll be squirming in no time." You take the chance to look at Coryo and he looks entranced. He's looking directly at Sejanus' fingers, expertly toying with your clit as you feel your hips stir.

"Can hold her hips or thighs down if you want her still." Sej does what he says, using his free hand to hold you as still as possible and that's when you let out a moan.

Coriolanus locks eyes with you then, his mouth parting a little and his hand resting a little too closely to his crotch. "Then, after playing with her like this for a bit, you can..." Sej trails off, dipping his fingers down to rub them through your folds, gathering your wetness on them. You lean your back against Sej's shoulder but he tsks. "look at Coryo, sweetheart." You do as he says.

"She's obedient," is the first thing Coriolanus says and Sej chuckles.

"Sometimes."

You smile at that and Sej teases his finger at your entrance. "start with one finger, then give her two. She likes small thrusts and when you curl them just a tad and don't forget about her clit." Coryo nods, and Sejanus pushes his finger into you, pressing the palm of his hand against your clit.

He does this slow and purposeful for a bit before adding in a second finger. Your hips buck against his hand despite his hold and Coryo moves forward to hold you down, his warm touch surprising but very welcomed. He smirks at you before watching Sejanus pleasure you once more.

After a couple more moments, Sej removes his touch completely from you, making you whine. "Do you want to try now?" He directs to Coryo and the man nods.

They switch positions, Coryo letting out a ragged breath as you press back against him. You choose not to say anything about how hard he is, even though you all knew.

Then, you learn that Coryo is a rather quick learner. He repeats everything Sejanus told him and it's even easier since you're worked up from Sej's touch.

The moment Coryo's fingers curl against the right spot, you're moaning loudly, gripping onto his thigh and Sej holds you down so Coryo could use his free hand to rub at your clit, his speed quickening the more you moan.

Sej would let out little praises under his breath, for you or for Coryo?

You're not sure.

You hear Coryo swallow and let out a breath before he whispers, "c-can I make you cum?" It's an odd, but endearing question, because wasn't that the end point for this anyways? But regardless, you nod. "I'm close, you're doing so good Coryo."

You reach a hand up to tangle in his hair, tugging on the locks as he groans, his own hips pushing harder against your backside. He curls his fingers one more time before you're coming undone on them. Coryo lets you relax against him as you come down from the orgasm, his cock throbbing as he replays the whole thing in his head.

Sejanus looks proud and pats Coryo on the back. "We're gonna teach you so much."

let's chat about coryo, sejanus, or both, here :)

[natewriteslol]

Hiii! I read your works alot because it's one of the active twst writers I see (I'm a dead writer myself LMAO)

Savanaclaw, riddle and Azul with a reader who's cheery and often bouncing with optimism that always has the mind boggling stories to tell. What do you mean that they literally man handed a lion because it won't stop messing around? What do you mean they were in a pit full of scorpions because they accidentally rolled down a hill? What do you mean they literally escaped a real decapitation (hinting towards Riddle LMAO) because he put one spoon full of herbs instead of a teaspoon? Like— they could go on forever! And the thing is, they have evidence of it.

Thank youuu 🫶🫶🫶🫶

A/N: Thank u so much I've been trying to stay on top of writing but it can get so hard!! But I really do try to keep this fandom alive w some goodies, anyways I'll stop yapping heres

Savanaclaw, Azul, and Riddle with a cheery, adventurous Reader!

Leona:

He didn't exactly always question your storytelling before he got to get to know you as he would rather spend time sleeping. But it seemed like literally everyone was captivated by your latest entertaining experience.

As you guys' relationship grew, it got to the point where he couldn't ignore you dropping an insane piece of lore about yourself.

"Yeah, I was accidentally poisoned before-"

"What did you just say-"

"It's okay though, the gnome did apologize and I got my stomach pumped but everything is all good!"

He makes sure to keep an eye out on you, and honestly your stories are the main thing that keep him awake during the day especially because they're real. And although it may seem he's nonchalant when you message him about where you're at, Leona always makes sure to respond as he does care.

Jack:

As your first friend at NRC and protector kinda, he would get paranoid when you would sometimes disappear. However at first Jack believed you were an independent person, and wasn't up to any nefarious activity.

Until you came back with a gorgon head in a brown sack where he was studying in the autobiography section in the library talking about that you accidentally defeated it.

He screamed in terror upon seeing the thing, causing for him to be shushed completely by offended students. But he could not care less due to the sliced head within the sack, however he quickly took you both outside and you being you didn't exactly see the problem in this situation.

Once you where in an open area near NRC's well he began to question you.

"Why-? A-And how? Why are you like this, do you know how much danger you were in?!"

"To answer all your questions in order, 1. I got lost and she had a huge problem with me, 2. I got scared and ran with my eyes closed with the sword and BOOM, just clean off, and yes I know I was in a lot of danger and I'm very sorry for not responding to your calls."

He was way too scared for both you and himself to respond and learned his lesson to keep an eye on you more.

Ruggie:

Ruggie always told you that he was a "see it to believe it" type person and he was never really believing your wild tales you would tell even if you came back with a little souvenir. He always just assumed you were pulling his leg for a bit.

Until he texted you one day over Magicam, since it was a slow day at the Savannaclaw dorm. Only for you to reply with a video, making him click on it not knowing what he should expect.

Queue you to being in an extremely angry dragon's mouth,

"Hey Ruuggieee! I'll get back to you later since I'm in a pickle right now, but I promise I'll call you when I'm done!"

He nearly passed out upon the sight because what in all of the sevens' names doing inside of that deadly beast. The beast man ended up walking to Ignihyde to possibly get Idia to track your location based on your I.P address, only for his phone to ring just as he was about to blab about what happened.

It was you!

He quickly picked up his phone to hear your excited voice blaring on the phone, "I told you I would call you back! Anyways, come over to my house I have something to show you."

You ended up bringing home a dragon's tooth and treasure and while Ruggie was overjoyed, he reprimanded you for being irresponsible.

But he wouldn't mind it too much if you brought back goodies like this just make sure to let him know so he could tag along.

Azul:

You were running late to a meeting about mending a contract between students he scammed. Since you know him quite well and is a good friend of his, the students thought your kind hearted nature could persuade him out of binding them to the Monstro Lounge for an entire semester.

He written in a small font on the contract that if you were over 15 minutes late, you would be unable to host this meeting and the deal would be off completely. The white haired boy glanced at the clock as the time ticked and he would have his own free work force.

Until you had to come 30 seconds from it being called off completely out of breath.

"Sorry Azul! But I got you a little present from the desert," you said dropping down in your seat and digging through this brown sack.

The ancient golden scarab of the Hot Sands.

"Is that-"

"The golden scarab included with the jewel eyes? Yup and I did it all by myself!" You said, extremely proud of yourself.

"Do you understand the value of what you have in your hand? And what were you doing all the way out there by yourself I just talked to you a day ago and that is damn near a 5 day journey?"

"I did this since I did the calculations and about an 1/4 of the wages that the students owe you is in the value of this jewel bug here. So if I split the riches with you, will you let them go?"

You did all of this for some measly students you knew in passing? How could you jeopardize yourself like that?

But he at the same time, respected you greatly and for your trouble and kind heart.

However, he told you to not go anywhere without telling him.

And no of course it's not because he cares about you and was scared once you told him where you went...of course not...

Riddle:

Is the first person who noticed you were gone because he likes to keep tabs on his friends. He didn't know what to expect but the red head just believed you were busy.

So, Riddle decided to shoot you a text as everyone was hanging out in the Heartslabyul dorm and he really wanted to see you.

'Good afternoon, Y/N please feel free to stop by the Heartslabyul dorm. Your company is very appreciated :)'

You quickly texted back, 'Hey Riddle! I'm gonna swing by with a surprise ;D'

He smiled at his phone, unknowing as to what you were going to bring by. Thinking you might bring by muffins or a sweet treat as such.

Not the sword of Excalibur.

You opened the door, bursting in loudly with the enormous sword slung on your back as Grim carried two sacks of gold. Everyone was completely flabbergasted, as the sword had been known to be a mythological thing not yet proven like the fountain of youth.

But there it was on your back as you grinned.

Turned out you picked up your first job at an exploration company and they sent you on a death wish mission to get this damn sword. And in contrary to what everyone believed would be the outcome, you succeeded and retrieved the artifact.

Unfortunately for you, you ended up being scolded for about two hours straight for being completely irresponsible by Riddle with some chime ins from your friends.

He admired your intense tenacity and bravery, but Riddle was super worried about you whenever you take on a quest. He forced you to have a partner whenever you go on missions and call him every time you reached an important point to make sure you were alive and safe.

"So... you really do care about me-"

"By the great seven- YES ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN KILLED IN THAT DAMN ENCHANTED FOREST-"

[bbokicidal]

Hello! The dick analysis was so 🤤🤤🤤 and you’ve become my virgin!skz dealer now! 😍😍😍

Speaking of which, what kind of subs would skz be? Could you write some hcs pls?

(Ps: I hope the headache you had has gone away! 🫶)

Have a wonderful day (or night depending on when you’re reading this)! ❤️❤️❤️

I'm about to do some bombass 5-STAR themed makeup but I'll write up some quick head canons, sure!! (Also my migraine has mostly gone away lol, ty for well wishes !!)

Chris :

Softest bottom ever, so compliant and eager to please.

Power... bottom? Maybe? Mm, not the right word. More of; He'll do anything you ask and he miiiight fuck you on his own a little if you're edging him and he knows he can't take it anymore.

So obedient. So so obedient, so sweetheart coded. Just there to make you feel good 'n gets soooo flustered with his ears and neck all red in embarrassment from having all your attention on him. <3

Minho :

Brat !! Brat I say !!!

So bratty, so mean. Cannot keep his mouth shut because he's always whining or biting back about how you're moving too slow or you're not going hard enough with him.

Be mean !! Spit in his mouth to assert dominance. That'll shut his ass up. <3

Changbin :

Pillow Princess Bin <3

The sweetest angel in bed. Less of an eager pleaser than Chris and more just - happy to be there, enjoying the moment, basking in the worship and adoration you shower him in.

Sit on his face and suffocate him. Man likes to eat, 'n that includes your holes. ;)

Hyunjin :

SO loud. So so loud, so whiny. Constantly moaning. Literally produces the PRETTIEST sounds you'll ever hear when he's subbing !!

The type to enjoy nipple clamps and wearing lacy lingerie for you because he knows just how much you like how lean he is <3333 (im tweaking out im just inserting my own fantasies in here now)

Looooves to be edged. Wants you holding a vib to the tip of his pretty pink cock until he's actually spraying cum and shaking so much he can't breathe. Also likes to have his ass ate, I don't make the rules. (I do.)

Jisung :

Bottom. BITCH.

Aka not a sub very often but when he does???? Mmm Mm MMMMM. So so so submissive, enters subspace so fucking fast when he's feeling a bit down. Also a very good communicator about what he wants/needs for the evening!!!

Honestly? I think his favorite thing to do while being submissive is dressing up. He likes wearing the big hoodies, the frilly socks, having his hair pinned back and sitting w his cute lil anime girl legs.

Felix :

Alright I'm gonna say on one hand, I can see him in cute pink clothing with garter belts and stockings and sleeves covering his hands, etc etc etc. Whimpering, hair in bows and pigtails, all cute 'n shit.

Another part of me says he's just so vanilla when hey subs and it's bc he doesn't prefer subbing. He really only subs when you either A) ask him to so you can experiment, or B) he needs you to blow him. :)

Definitely a moaner tho. <3

Seungmin :

An actual dog, bro.

Growls, bites, even spits at you sometimes. A brat, fr! Buuuuut if you put him in his place then he's sooooo compliant and whimpering like the good puppy he is.~

The type to hump your leg if you deny him his needs, biting at your thighs and even eating you out with long licks to get your attention until you flip him over 'n suffocate him by sitting on his face. <3

Jeongin :

I really don't see him as submissive,,,, ever. So I'm gonna say he's really only submissive when he's by himself.

Has definitely used toys before on himself, has taken it up the ass. Did enjoy it but won't admit it aloud bc he's too shy. <3 But !!!

He did let you in on his secret a lil later on, and now if you ask reaaaaaally nicely and have it all planned out, he might let you peg him until he cries. <3 (Face down ass up Innie?? MMMMM)

[mariclerc]

Hi! Are you taking requests? I would love to read something with Charles where the reader is quite shy and maybe not very experienced relationship wise, but Charles is very patient and understanding and helping them get used to the new situation?

Thank you for this request, it seems like something very precious and cute to me🥺🤍. I hope you like it! 🫶🏻

A slow pace | cl16

Summary: Where you don't usually have much experience in the romantic aspect, but you have a boyfriend who is willing to go slow if you need to.

Warning: none, just Charles being softie and such a simp for you.

Part 2.

Something you have always wanted and desired since you were a teenager probably was to be in a relationship. You have vivid memories of all of your friends talking to you about how nice it felt to have a boyfriend and do fun and cute things together. But, despite this, here you are, at your boyfriend's house ready to spend a very pleasant time with him.

“Almost done! How does pasta sounds princess?” says Charles from the kitchen.

You turn in your seat on the couch and give him a shy little smile. “Pasta sounds great... Thank you!”

Charles turns and wipes his hands with a dishcloth, He walks towards you and takes a seat next to you, gently taking your hand.

“Hey, are you okay? You're a little quiet tonight, is something wrong?” He asks with calm in his voice, you bite your lip as you look down at your hands.

“It's just... Everything is so new to me, I mean... us. I've never dated anyone before you and... It's all a bit overwhelming sometimes.”

You've been dating Charles for a couple of months and, honestly, he is the most attentive and loving boy you have ever met. At first you thought he was going to reject you for being too shy or something like that, but he's the complete opposite of any guy out there. And even though you've been dating for a while and so on, you can't help but feel a little shy around him.

Charles squeezes your hand reassuringly. “Oh baby, it's okay to feel that way! Everything takes time, I just want you to know that I am here with you, throughout this journey. No pressure, no judgement, just us.”

You look up at him, you eyes sparkling. “You're the best Charlie! I know I'm not exactly the most... experienced girlfriend, but you make it so easy for me.”

He smiles at you. “It's nothing darling, for you I do anything, everything possible to see that pretty little smile on your face.” He says as he winks at you and you smile.

After a while he serves the pasta and they have their dinner in a fairly calm atmosphere between both of you, a few knowing glances, some shy giggles from both of you and the occasional brush of hands and honestly you couldn't ask for more in a boyfriend.

“So, uhm... What do you want to do after we clean this up?” you ask with some shyness.

“Honestly? I just want to spend time with you baby.”

Your heart flutters at his words and you blush. “Me too! But, I don't want to be boring...”

He looks at you and smiles. “You could never be boring y/n. You're the most interesting person I know.”

You blush again, a small smile playing on your lips. “You think so?”

“Absolutely babe. You're kind, funny, and you have this amazing way of seeing the world! Also, you make me laugh even when I'm feeling down.” He leans closer, his eyes sparkling. “So, what do you say? Movie marathon and warm cuddles?”

“Sounds perfect for me!” you say smiling.

You both finish cleaning the dishes and go to snuggle on the couch, after a while of watching the movie you turn to look at him and you can't stop thinking about how lucky you are to have someone as patient and cute as him by your side. He pulls you into a hug, and you snuggle closer, feeling safe and loved in his arms.

“Mhm... Charlie?” you whispered at him, he humms in response. “Thank you for being so patient with me... I know I can be very... shy sometimes.”

He smiles and kisses your forehead tenderly. “Hey, there's nothing wrong with being shy, it just makes you more special! And I'm so happy to wait for you to open up, at your own pace.”

You look up and smile, your eyes filled with gratitude. “You're the best!”

“We can take things as slowly as you need princess... If you think we're going too fast, just tell me okay? I have no problem slowing down the pace for you... Just for you my sweet angel.”

You nod and he smiles and kisses you softly, with an unspoken promise hanging in the air, you know, with Charles by your side, you'll be alright. He'll guide you, support you and loving you unconditionally until he sees you blossom into the woman you were always meant to be. You know, deep down, that this is something special, something that not everyone is lucky to get but that you, fortunately are.

[mvrkieboo]

Old Bloodhounds

P32 | i am now a proud uchinaga 🫶🏻

You're sat beside the window, observing what was happening on the outside of the café (a girl walking her dog, a guy waiting to cross the road, a guy sitting on the bus stop bench) as you waited for the others to arrive. To your surprise, Aeri came in just right after you. You waved at her, pointing at the spot next to you. She lit up almost instantly, practically jogged to take the seat next to you.

She gave you a side hug, tucking her own head under your chin, making you giggle.

"I'm so glad you're opening up to us now, but if you feel like changing your mind, we won't put it against you." She said, placing a hand on your shoulder blade.

You let out a small smile.

"If I change my mind, I'll be losing Yangyang." You spoke quietly, and saw how her smile completely turned upside down.

"Yangyang's being unreasonable, Y/N. Seriously. Why would he put your friendship on the line like that? It's very—"

"Childish? Immature? Selfish? Self-centered? Trust me, I've said it all to him but it didn't get past his thick ass skull." Xiaojun's voice intercepted Aeri's, and both of you looked up to see both him and Yangyang were here now.

Yangyang didn't even bother to send him a dirty look and quickly took the seat across yours, with Xiaojun now designated to sit across Aeri. The waitress, finally seeing your table was now at 4 people, decided to come over with the menus to take your orders.

When the waitress left, you placed your arms on the table.

"Yangs."

"Y/N."

"Do you have anything to say to me? You know, just to get things out of the way first?" You smiled lopsidedly, not in that bad of a mood because you got to spend some time with Mark and Yuno yesterday, alongside Geonwoo and Woojin.

You had a blast introducing them to each other, mainly because Mark and Yuno's assumption of your neighbours being your sugar daddies nearly brought you to tears while Geonwoo and Woojin looked very apprehensive. They were basically your foster parents at one point in your life, when they had to fund your senior year in highschool. Like the cram school fees, bringing you along for a late back-to-school shopping, and Geonwoo's mom housing you before you got into college.

Sugar daddies? That's insulting.

And coincidentally, the sugar daddy misconception began with the very man before you—Liu Yangyang.

"I don't know—do you have anything to say to me first?"

Stubborn, capricious, prideful Yangyang.

With a very hard jab on the ribs, via Xiaojun's very sharp elbows, his composure slipped away with a pathetic yelp. Xiaojun put his face near Yangyang's, a pointer finger stabbing into Yangyang's shoulder while Xiaojun spoke through gritted teeth.

"You do have something to say, dipshit, and you're saying it first."

Yangyang continued groaning for a few seconds more before straightening his back.

"Alright, I'm sorry!—and this apology isn't forced, I swear. Berating you in the groupchat while you were handling the witch hunt was a dick move, and for this time I'll try to understand you if you decide to back out of this. After narrowly escaping being stabbed by Xiaojun last night, I finally understood that whatever it is you're trying to keep to yourself, it's obviously something very personal to you—but it's just...I just got really frustrated with the situation you were going through on your behalf and got insecure, so I lashed out on you." Yangyang rambled, but it wasn't fast paced and frenzied, it was slow and thought through, even though he didn't give you the chance to interrupt him.

You took hold of Yangyang's hand on the table.

"Yangyang, I'm sorry too, for making you feel insecure. I do consider you my close friend—sometimes I consider you a very annoying twin brother figure even. The things I've kept to myself aren't because I don't trust you, but it's something I haven't been able to move on yet. At least, not completely. I'm glad Xiaojun managed to beat you into understanding that."

Yangyang huffed out a scoff, "Oh, please. Xiaojun got to beat me yesterday because I didn't fight back. Otherwise—"

"Otherwise I could still beat your ass, motherfucker. Shut the fuck up." Xiaojun intercepted, and it had all four of you bursting out into laughter because of how much of a hardass he embodied for that line.

When all of you calmed down, you squeezed Yangyang's hand, pulling his attention.

"Okay, now that's out of the way, I guess I have to start explaining what exactly happened to me all those years ago."

"Y/N, if you're not ready—" Aeri placed her hand on your side, looking a little conflicted. She was glad that you were letting them in but also worried that you might've felt forced to do this.

"No, I'm ready. I am now."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"I'm sorry, if you felt like you were forced to share this. The fact that you haven't finished processing this trauma yet..." Yangyang spoke in a serious manner, looking ashamed with himself.

"It's okay, Yangyang. Honestly, I had to stop acting like it never happened every time I'm with you guys. Especially now that Yuno and Mark are back into my life. I was going to have to fully acknowledge it at one point." You shook your head at Yangyang's nth apology for today, flashing him a smile that was not at all forced.

You looked outside the window for a moment, not noticing the guy you saw sitting on the bus stop bench from earlier was still there, sitting there still.

"It's not okay. I accused the guys who practically adopted you when you had nobody else to be your sugar daddies. God, if they knew I was the one who started this sugar daddy bullshit, they'd hate me...I don't wanna make a bad impression on them..." He groaned, and Xiaojun and Aeri also looked ashamed, because they had fed into that bullshit alongside him.

You laughed at their faces, bewildered with Yangyang's words.

"A bad impression? Yangyang, you're not meeting my parents or something. Besides, they already know about you guys, I talk about you often when I'm with them."

"I am practically about to meet your parents. These dudes took you in, helped put you back on your feet, and are still watching over you even when you're all grown now. I can imagine shitting my pants if they're ever right in front of me right now." Yangyang groaned again, rubbing his hands on his face just imagining how muscular these dudes could be as former MMA athletes.

"They'd like all of you in an instant, guys. Don't worry too much." You cooed before consuming the last bite of your pasta.

prev | masterlist | next

A/N : have fun with this fluff y'all! it's not gonna last long! cus im getting bored of y/n being so at ease and happy and safe. need this bitch to suffer.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

• taglist • [CLOSED]

@spiderm444rk @morkiee @xiuriii @solvrse @neozon3nha @herebyaccident0 @injunnie-lemon @mystverse @dearmonamour @v-6893 @sehunniepot @bee-the-loser @nessaassen02 @luluvhs @sunghoonsgfreal @docilismo @neocrashed @soobinbunnie5 @cigarettesafterjae @dudekiss3r @kittydollzz @urlocalbeaner5 @polarisjisung @conwunder @wonupuppy @jae-n0 @413ktz @kimsaerom @meowtella @aerivrs @swanyvess @morkleesgirl @sthwaaberry @nominzn @grassbutneo @spicyryujin @koizekomi @sunflowerhae @markeroolee

[greensagephase]

idk if this is a weird question but how do you think miguel kisses

Vyn!! Omg, hiii, pookie!! Thank you for the ask and it’s not a weird question at all!! I like to think about these things lol!!

Okay, okay, so this is what I imagine it's like (and I'm sorry for the way I wrote it out, but once I started replying my writing mode activated) in privacy because I think Miguel def appreciates his and your privacy, so this would be when you’re alone!

Miguel loves having your body pressed to his, to have your warmth combine with his own. He always wraps an arm around your waist, keeping you close. He squeezes your body gently and then caresses you, feeling your soft body. He uses his free hand to either cup your face, or to tilt your chin up so he can have better access to your face. Sometimes, if he’s not in a hurry, or like, just overwhelmed with the need to kiss you, he takes his sweet time to press soft and tender kisses to your cheeks, forehead, and nose before he finally kisses your lips.

When Miguel finally kisses you, his arm tightens around you instinctively! He hums in satisfaction when your lips connect at last, his eyes closed. It’s slow kissing because Miguel loves being able to truly appreciate your lovely lips. At some point, his hand holding your face moves to the back of your neck to keep your head close to his, not wanting to part from you any time soon. Maybe his fingers move to your hair (if you’re okay with that based on your type of hair) and grab a gentle fistful to keep you close, growing hazy in the heaven that’s your lips.

It’s all very gentle and sweet, with so much love!!! I think Miguel eventually seeks entrance to your mouth because he wants to taste and explore you, no matter how many times he’s done it in the past. He gently and silently asks for access to your mouth by swiping his tongue over your lip and when you grant him access, another noise of satisfaction comes from him. When you finally break the kiss to breathe, he presses his forehead to yours and sighs out of pure happiness, still holding you close to him.

That's how I imagine it (and I'm clawing at the walls rn)!! 😭 Thank you so much for the ask, Vyn!! I hope you're doing well and having a lovely day/night!! Pls take care!! 💖🫶🏼

Alondra❤️

[herotome]

Devlog #154

Hi everyone.

This is a hard update for me to write. But I'm here!! Still here.

I lost someone very important to me earlier this month. I knew it was a long time coming, but it's still hard. I'm coping as best as I can. Even got a commemorative tattoo (my very first tattoo!) to remember them by.

Herotome has been a reprieve for me, uh... sometimes. There are times when it's helpful to peck away at it, and there are times where all I can do is look at old photos and cry.

So - no hiatus, per se! I only ask for continued understanding for any slowness or sadness from my end (though y'all have already been so patient and kind, I'm not worried). 🫶

Allllll this being said, here's an update from a less personal front:

Eyebrows!!!!

I made this set of references to remind myself how much progress I've made for everybody (aside from beloved golden child Dart, who wears a helmet for most of his screentime and I love him for it).

I think Mia is the most "complete" set of brows...

I was also able to write just a little bit! It wasn't much but it WAS a transition that was giving me trouble.

I also backed up my files! Finally!! After waaaay too long. ;;;;

That's about it for now.

Stay safe and keep warm,

Wudge.

[87kelce]

—can we please get back to loving?

summary: you knew the term exclusive was never something travis would ever use when it comes to your relationship. but you seemed to be the only one he called when he wanted someone around.

warnings: angst, smut (18+ only, no minors), arguments, slow sex, riding, pussy eating, spooning

word count: 2660

notes: title taken from the song written all over your face by louis tomlinson. not proofread so if there's any mistakes i apologise. again likes and reblogs are very much appreciated 🫶

You never seemed to get a moments peace at night anymore. You knew better than to answer his calls, however the majority of the time, he was already waiting outside to be let in. But you just couldn't deny how good the sex was. He's barely doing anything and you're coming undone beneath him every time, his soft lips and wandering hands doing wonders on your body.

But then there were times he called and it wasn't for sex. He'd maybe just lost a game and he needs a pick me up, so he calls you. You talk for hours until he hears you yawning and then he thanks you for calming him down and tells you to get some rest. He also apologises for rambling on and keeping you awake for so long, but you tell him it's fine and you'd rather sit up and talk to him if it meant he was ok. You're always worried about him after a loss, he always blames himself for not doing enough and it hurts you that he feels that way.

Then you invited yourself over to his place one day, and he gladly let you in. You knew he had a game the next day so there was no chance of having sex, but at least you could help him focus on the game. He seemed to be in a good mood—he was making you laugh, you were watching TV together and you, slowly but surely, were falling for him. You were falling for the way his eyes practically disappeared when he laughed, falling for the way he always looked at you like you were the only thing in the room, falling for the way he kissed you softly and gently, falling for the way he felt so comfortable around you all the time.

But it was never exclusive, you knew he didn't want that. You were just there for a hook up and to hang out sometimes. If you didn't stop the whole ordeal, you were afraid you might get too attached and he won't reciprocate those same feelings. So you started ignoring his calls, and when he'd text you and ask what's wrong, you make up lies.

I'm too tired. I'm not feeling great. I've got friends over.

But he knew you better than that. After the third excuse he just invited himself over, making up his own excuse of I just wanted to make sure you were okay. And you knew better than to invite him in. But now he's on your couch, flicking through the channels on your TV, completely making himself at home.

"Why didn't you want to be exclusive with me?"

"Hm?"

Travis turned to face you, eyebrows raised. He clearly hadn't heard you, too focused on the TV and you just sighed.

"Why didn't you want to be exclusive with me?"

"Let's not discuss that.. I don't want to start a fight."

"Was I the only girl you were seeing?"

"Don't.."

"I want you to be honest with me."

He sighed, switching off the TV and getting up, walking to the kitchen. He opened your fridge and grabbed a water bottle, taking a sip before coming back to the couch. But he didn't say anything, just sat there in silence before he took his phone out and started scrolling through it.

"Travis.."

"I'm just.. I don't know."

"Is it me? Is it something I've done?"

"No."

You just sighed, getting up and going to your bedroom, slamming the door behind you and flopping onto your bed, crying into your pillow. He's like a completely different person now, compared to the person he was last week, laughing with you on the phone and being so sweet and kind to you. You're just waiting and hoping he knocks on your door, apologises and sweeps you off your feet again, like a knight in shining armour. But you're pretty sure he couldn't care less, and honestly, you're not even sure why he invited himself over in the first place. If he was worried about you, he could've called. You don't know why he was so adamant about being here with you, but not actually being with you.

After one of his games, he gave you an old jersey and you still kept it under your pillow, claiming it helped you sleep better. You reached under and grabbed it, bunching it up and cuddling it. Maybe if you hadn't tried to push him away, he might still be the nice Travis you knew two weeks ago. You kept blaming yourself, putting yourself at fault for everything between you and him, until a knock at your door startled you. You wiped your eyes, getting up and opening it.

"You okay? I was gonna check on you when you slammed the door but.. thought I'd give you some space."

"I'm fine, you can go home if you want."

"That movie you like is on, wanna watch it?"

"Just.. go home."

"I can't go home, not when you're like this."

"I said I'm fine."

"You're not."

He's being pushy but he needs to be, he needs to get you to admit that you're not okay. He knows you better than yourself sometimes and you just roll your eyes, pushing past him to sit on the couch, watching the movie starting. He threw his head back and sighed, but just as he tilted his head back and went to turn and follow you, he noticed the jersey. He remembers giving it to you, smiling when you immediately put it on and twirled round in it. Truthfully, although he won't admit it, that was the first moment he fell in love with you.

He walks into your room, grabbing the jersey before going back to sit with you on the couch. He just throws it down on the middle section of the couch, before sitting down and turning to look at you.

"You keep it on your bed?"

"Under my pillow.."

He just smiled, still watching you until you smiled back at him. He was almost magnetic, pulling you right back into him whenever he could. You let him in so easily and you know you shouldn't.

But then he's pulling you onto his lap, his mouth on your neck, lips soft against your skin. Your hands move up to the back of his neck, fingers scratching gently at the nape of his neck.

"Trav.."

"Shh.. feels good right?"

You just nodded, eyes closing shut.

"Then let it happen.."

As you pulled back slightly, his head tilted, lips moving to the other side of your neck. You felt like you were spinning, feeling all dizzy when he kissed you, ultimately making you forget you were mad at him in the first place. Then you remember he has practice again tomorrow, and it's important.

"We can't do this.. not tonight."

He ignores you at first, kissing along your collarbone and you have to push yourself away from him so he looks up at you.

"Listen to me.. we can't do this.."

"You still mad at me?"

"No, but you have practice again tomorrow."

He just sighs, hands fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt. It then hits you that he probably came here just to have sex, his excuse of making sure you were okay was just a lie. You push off him completely, sliding to sit next to him on the couch. But one of his hands is still on your waist, thumb circling gently on your skin.

"I need you to be genuinely honest with me, okay?"

"Okay.."

"Did you come over here for just a hookup?"

"No. You just.. kept avoiding me and I wanted to make sure you were alright."

You stood up from the couch, starting to pace around the room. Sure, he's cared about you but you just can't seem to figure out why he came over to make sure you were alright. He always just calls you, talking your ear off for hours on end and making you laugh to forget about why you were ever upset in the first place.

"I can't keep just having sex. But you don't want to be exclusive with me."

"You want the truth?"

"Please."

"I think you're so fucking cool. I get so happy when you answer my calls, those conversations we have are the one thing I look forward to on my off days. I push all these feelings down because I'm fucking terrified, my work is hectic and I.. I just don't want you to get overwhelmed by it all."

He had sat up now, head facing the ground after he spoke. You slowly sat down, one of your hands reaching for his.

"I remember giving you that jersey.. the way you got all giddy and excited when you put it on. I.."

You squeezed his hand gently and he turned his head to look at you. Then he sat back and once again, pulled you into his lap.

"Ever since then.. I can't stop thinking about you. It's just.. the travelling for away games, you wouldn't be with me for a few days and—"

"Trav.."

He looked into your eyes, feeling your hands cup his cheeks.

"I can handle a few days without you every so often.."

"Are you sure?"

You just smiled, kissing his forehead.

"I'm sure."

You let go of his face as he pulled you in against him, his forehead resting against the side of your neck. Everything felt so heavy with him before, but you didn't know that it was all on him. You had doubts that if you told him how you felt, that he wouldn't reciprocate those same feelings. There was no way you could've predicted him actually being in love with you. Especially with the sex, but now, as he moved his head back and kissed you softly on your neck, he could be sweet and gentle with you.

He moved his hands to your waist, shuffling forward on the couch before standing up, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. Walking you to the bedroom, you dropped your head to his shoulder, tilting your head to kiss the side of his neck. You unwrapped your legs from his waist when you felt the bed dip beneath you as he lay you down. One of his hands fumbled with your shorts as the other bunched your shirt up, his fingers brushing over your nipple, making you gasp slightly.

His head was resting against your stomach, lips leaving lingering kisses all over your skin, and you couldn't help but watch him, eyes closed and savouring every moment with you. He had managed to wiggle your shorts and underwear off, and now his mouth was kissing the inside of your thighs. You were still looking down at him when he flashed his eyes up at you, his mouth hovering over your core. He moved your left leg over his shoulder, while he pushed at the back of your thigh on your right leg, keeping it open. The hand that wasn't holding your leg open, wrapped around your other leg, trying to keep you in place while he buried his head between your legs. He could feel you squirming underneath him and almost anticipated your movements, his head moving in time with you.

You threw your head back when he delved his tongue inside, mouth still attached to your folds. Again, he flashed his eyes up at you, grinning when he saw you slightly arch your back up off the sheets. He licked through your folds a couple more times, before you reached one hand down, pushing against his forehead.

"Trav.. please.. too much.."

But he didn't stop, he just pushed his tongue deeper, licking faster, your whines and moans only egging him on further. But just as he knew you were close, he pulled away, reaching down and wiping his face with the hem of his t-shirt. He then shrugged your leg off his shoulder and stood up in between your legs.

"You close?"

"Mmph.. mmhm.."

You slowly opened your eyes, watching him walk round the bed, before sitting down and patting his thighs. You slowly turned over, crawling up the bed and swinging your leg over his thighs. When his hands found your waist, he smiled up at you, brushing your hair out your face.

"There's my girl.."

You just blushed, lowering yourself down and hiding your face in his neck.

"Does my girl wanna come?"

"Please?"

He reached behind you and pulled at his shorts, dragging them off. He returned his focus to you, realising still how sensitive you already were and started to move his hands up and down your sides, squeezing gently and almost trying to massage you. While his hands were occupied, you lifted yourself onto your knees slightly, reaching down between both your bodies and adjusting yourself onto him, sinking down and sighing into his shoulder when he was fully inside.

"Take it easy, baby.. nice and slow."

You were feeling so overwhelmed that you couldn't move much, rather just grinding against him. His hands on your waist made you move, lifting you off him slightly before pushing you back down. His lips were kissing your neck, softly and sweetly, and you could feel him smiling against your skin.

Since he had basically eaten you out to almost orgasm earlier, it didn't take long before you let go against him, mumbling out that you were close.

"Let go.. I got you.."

You sighed out in relief, legs slightly trembling around him as he shh'd and cooed at you. He gave you a few languid thrusts himself to ride you through it and over it, before you felt him grunt in your ear. He was close and although you were still sensitive and still coming down from your own high, you wanted to help him get to his. Grinding your hips down onto him, he threw his head back against the pillow, eyes screwed shut and his mouth open.

"Unless you want me to come inside you, you better get off my dick.."

You pulled off him and heard him sigh against your neck, dropping his head back to your shoulder. He reached over to the bedside table and grabbed a tissue, cleaning himself up. You then slid off him, laying down on the bed, feeling him drag his shorts back on before laying down behind you, arm wrapping around your waist.

"I hate when we fight.."

"I know, baby.. but if we hadn't had that fight, I wouldn't have realised what a dick I was being and wouldn't have told you how I feel about you. I could've just left when you told me to leave.."

"I'm glad you didn't.."

He just smiled and kissed your shoulder, before nuzzling his forehead against it.

"Now.. you gotta sleep, you have practice tomorrow.. and I don't think Reid will let you turn up late.. again.."

He just laughed, kissing your shoulder again before resting his head into the pillow. You felt his hand play with the hem of your t-shirt for a while before he stopped and you knew he'd drifted off to sleep. You stayed awake for a while after that, unable to think about anything except Travis. Eventually your eyes fluttered closed and you drifted off to sleep, warmed by his arm around your stomach.

[sameschmidtdiffname]

Hey I love your work so much!!

I was thinking of maybe a Mike Schmidt x reader where the reader is all like “I’m not good enough for you, I don’t deserve you” stuff and then like Mike makes it up to the reader to show them that they are more than enough 🫶

Sure, but it's gonna hurt!

Blue Sunrise

Mike Schmidt x Gender Neutral! Reader

Summery: All is well, yet you aren't. A fact that disturbs and irritates you so, even if it shouldn't.

Tags: No use of Y/N, no use of gendered pronouns for Reader, SFW with brief mentions of smut, pre-established relationship, set during the movie but that's honestly not very relevant, hurt/comfort, Reader and Mike both have PTSD, this isn't projection, bed rotting, depression, self-loathing, night terrors/nightmares, panic attacks, sleep deprivation, mentions of medication, lack of self care, slight self-harm (scratching), breakdown, nosebleed.

Notes: *in sonic snapcube dub voice* heyyyyyyyyyyyy what's upppppppppppppp it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (STOP!!)

                     ▪︎◇{¤♧■♧¤}◇▪︎

6:34 A.M.

The dawn is gentle, the sky a soft blue behind the thin, cheap blinds that cover the bedroom window not that far in front of me. If I wanted, I could get up and open the window, revealing the surely beautiful and gorgeous sunrise that waits for me just outside the blinds.

But I don't. And I won't.

Birds sing gently outside, waking up and fliting about here and there. It's my favorite part of the day, quite frankly. When I can, I open the window to allow in the fresh, cool air, moist with the morning dew, unmuffling the bird's songs as I drift off to sleep, my schedule mostly in tune with Mike's for his night shift. Sometimes I manage to stay awake to greet him when he returns home. It's always nice when I do. His smile is lazy, his strides long and slow as he makes his way to the bed, peeling off his work clothes and crawling under the covers with me. Sometimes he'll press himself against me, his lips finding my neck as his hand dives between my thighs, his fingers trained on one goal as he murmurs against my skin how much he's missed me. Sometimes I wake to this.

There's a part of me that wishes he'd do this today just so I wouldn't have to think.

The lock on the front door rattles as someone attempts to insert a key into the hole. It doesn't matter how long he's lived here or how he uses those keys every morning, he still takes a moment to make sure he's using the right one, and on the first try he usually isn't. So it takes him a solid minute to unlock the door and enter the house. If we had dogs, they'd surely drive us insane from his routine. It slightly drives me insane already. But I'm technically not even supposed to be awake, so I never mention it.

When Mike finally enters the house, the first thing I hear after the satisfying break of the doors seal ringing throughout the living room is a deep sigh as Mike's backpack lands in front of the coat rack. He should be quieter about setting it down. I would be. But I think he assumes we should be so deep in sleep it really wouldn't matter, and it honestly doesn't make much noise. Just a slightly dull 'thud' against the thinly carpeted floor.

Next I can hear his car keys land in the bowl they're meant for. Again, he's a bit too loud with it all. At least, while people are sleeping. But it's not really a bother. In a way, I like it. It gives me a routine to memorize, his sounds before he'll trail to our room and come press himself against me.

The rocking recliner creeks softly as he sits in it, lazily undoing the laces on his boots before he tosses them towards the coat rack. And next he'll duck his head into the fridge I'm sure and look for the leftovers I put into a big bowl for him to warm up - which he won't, because he's a psychopath who likes cold food. - and then when my alarm goes off, he'll come to wake me up, rising from the old couch where he's very quietly reading his book while he eats and do whatever he has to do to prevent me from slipping back into sleep. He's very good at that job. Especially when he uses his tongue.

But today there's a break in the routine. Today, his footsteps are padding towards our room, the door quietly opening as he slips in. I can hear him let out a soft sigh as he tugs on his hoodie, pulling it off and then discarding of his jeans, which muffle the clack of his belt buckle as he slips them off. Left in his undershirt and boxers, he crosses the room to open the blinds and the window, letting in the fresh air and leaning against the thin windowstill for a moment. Now, I can see him.

He looks rested, a little more than he should for having just finished a night shift. I keep telling him he's going to get fired, but he always wiggles his way out of that conversation. The bags usually under his eyes aren't too deep this morning, which while problematic is relieving. His skin is pale blue from the dawns light that pours into the room. His dark curls are more thick on the top of his head, clumped together from him not brushing them after his shower. He must've used too much conditioner, because his hair also looks thicker than it usually does. The breeze blows his oversized pale blue shirt against his chest as he leans forward, allowing his eyes to close as he takes in a deep breath. It feels like an overly private moment. Like I've intruded by watching him. I don't see him like this much when he isn't alone. When he's with me or Abby, he's alert. Somewhat on guard. It's like he's watching us to make sure we're okay. He's too used to things falling apart in an instant. But when he's alone, physically or emotionally, the walls crumble away to reveal a man who enjoys peace. Who smiles softly as he bends down low, resting his chin upon his arms, letting the dawn greet him and being the supposed first in the house to greet the dawn. And I feel like a stalker for watching him. A scene that feels as if I've stolen what will now only exist deep in my mind for when I want to remember one of the few times he has truly ever looked at peace with the world. It's a scene out of a painting. As private as a prayer. I should grant him more privacy, but I don't. In a captivated and enchanted way, I can't.

I'd never tell him this, but in this moment he looks like his mother. And not in the sense of him being her son. No, based off of the few photos I've seen of her in more private, intimate instances, like when she was holding a very small Mike on her lap on his second birthday, or when Mike's father had stolen a photo during their honeymoon when she wasn't looking, Mike looks just like her. Quiet, serene, not hiding anything from anyone because there's no need. At this moment it is just him and the gentle, late winter breeze that makes my nose begin to sting. He's beautiful. Just like she was.

The moment comes to an end, and now it is just a moment that exists only within my mind as his eyes open. The blue dawn brings out the green in his eyes that's usually hidden by artificial light that overpowers the amber, turning them mostly black in some instances. That's the color I thought they were until I saw him in proper daylight. His long lashes bat once, twice in an almost sleepy manner as he shifts his focus, now turning his head to look at me. I shut my eyes quickly, my canines biting into my tongue to force myself to keep a straight face. But it's too late. We made eye contact, even if it was only for a second, and now he knows I'm awake.

"Sweetheart?" He whispers softly, his voice low and slightly gravelly in the way it always is. His 's' and 't's just a tad sharp, clear as always when he speaks. I hear the floor groan as he pads towards me.

I don't speak. I'm not supposed to be awake. I should be asleep, he would rather I was asleep. I tried to be asleep.

He stops in front of me, I can hear the floor groan louder as he crouches in front of me. He's trying to decide if I'm awake or not, if maybe he'd been tricked into thinking we made eye contact. But something convinces him he hasn't, and the bed sinks as he places a hand upon the mattress to support his weight while he kisses my temple.

"Hi," he whispers against my skin, placing another kiss just above the curve of my brow. "Good morning." He places another kiss on the space between my brows, his lips now trailing up to the middle of my forehead. "You look so pretty like this."

Like what? My skin shining with oil, my nose dirty, my body heavy from not having moved?

Something makes him pause when his lips find my cheek. He keeps his lips pressed against my skin for a moment before he pulls away, licking his lips as he looks closer at me.

"Hey," he whispers softly, a finger finding my chin. "Open your eyes."

I don't want to. When I do he'll instantly know what I've been doing, and I don't want to handle it. I don't want to deal with it.

His hand slips under my head, between my cheek and my pillow.

"Sweetheart, your pillow's wet," he says in quiet surprise. "Open your eyes, talk to me."

Hesitatingly, I obey. Cracking my eyes open and trying not to reveal how horrid the dryness in them feels after allowing them rest for a few moments after keeping them open for what could have been hours at this point. Mike's face is inches from mine, his brows furrowed in concern as his eyes scan for other obvious signs of distress.

"Hi," I croak in a tired, unused voice as I try to pretend all is well. Mike unfortunately knows better.

"What happened?" He asks concerningly, taking in the tone he does whenever Abby is upset, fretting over me like I'm an injured child as both of his hands cup my face, his lips finding what he's confirmed are thin, itchy and salty tear tracks, placing several, feather-light kisses along them.

"Nothing," I answer honestly, my voice still cracking. "I'm fine."

"Your eyes are red, baby," he says softly, pulling away to look at me again while his body inches closer. "You look like you've been crying for hours."

Ha. I wish. If I had been, maybe I'd feel better about everything. But instead, I've been lying here since Abby went to bed, feeling numb and dead internally as I willed myself to be upset about anything. Work, bills, the color of the walls. I'd succeeded maybe twice, little tears streaming down my face for a minute or two. But then they would stop, and it would feel as though I couldn't cry. Really cry. Like there was some emotional, maybe physical block preventing me from just truly letting all of my emotions out in a possibly hysterical fit. One that would mean I could connect to my humanity. I don't know what's wrong with me. So, instead I just say "I haven't cried."

Mike opens his mouth to call bullshit, but his brow furrows tighter as he thinks. "What's wrong?" He asks again, now lifting my head to allow one arm to slip underneath so I can lay upon it.

"Nothing," I answer again, truly unsure of what to say. "I'm really okay."

And I am. Work is fine, I am fine. Friends are fine. I don't have entitlement to be upset.

"Is it another episode?" Mike asks softly, now pulling his body onto the bed to lie next to me, fully committed to being partner of the year over here. Ugh. Great.

"No," I answer quickly, averting my gaze. Mike's hand cups my cheek, his body cool compared to mine. I'm soaked in sweat from sleeping - read: laying motionless on the bed since 9:30. - in too warm of clothes in too warm of a room under too warm of blankets. I probably stink. Meanwhile the morning air makes Mike feel refreshing. He's perfect. I'm a mess.

"It's okay if it is," Mike says softly. "It's nothing to be ashamed of if-"

"I'm not having an episode," I say firmly, cutting him off as though it will solidify my statement more than his if I finish mine first. "I'm just not."

I don't pretend to be perfect. I'm not, and I never will be. I know that's okay. I know episodes happen, and that I'll be okay. I've been so much better lately on my new schedule. I'm working, I'm happy.

I have absolutely no good reason to be in the midst of a depression episode. One where the memories won't leave my mind, where I can't sleep, can't think about anything but the past. It plays in my head over and over again, and I can't stop it. Even though I try. I read, I journal, I bathe. But I don't feel real. People don't feel real. Mike is disorienting in the sense that he is the only thing that truly feels real. Where the pale color of the sheets seems hypnotic, his slightly tan skin contrasts to remind me this place really does exist. The furniture and details of the room seem as real as something from a video game, renderings that aren't as realistic as they could be that blend into the wall more as you look. Flat. Nothing. But the freckles on his nose are real. Strikingly real. Overly real. It's as though someone took their time to place each one, carefully deciding their color, their opacity, their placement. I want and love each one, but at this moment they slightly torture me by drawing me into a comforting trap.

"I haven't had an episode in over a month, I'm better," I attempt to say in a firm, solid voice. But I'm too tired, too worn out. My chest burns both from anxiety induced heartburn and how shallow my breathing has been for the past several hours. Mike looks sad, and I hate that. Deeply.

"You have been doing better," he says softly, like a reassuring parent. "I've seen that. And I'm so proud of you."

But I still have this. I'm still like this. I still can't have people wrap their arms around me from behind because I'm instantly taken back to when it would end in me collapsed on the ground, panting, crying, calling out for help that just wouldn't come. I still can't wear shirts with too tight of collars because it always end with me half naked, ripping the shirt off while hyperventilating. That was how I had to tell Mike. For our first Christmas together he bought me this beautiful turtleneck, knowing I liked the style but didn't own many. A dark evergreen color, affordable but a lovely tight-knit material, I adored the thing. But the moment the shirt was over my head, the neck felt like a hand suffocating me, and though I tried to tolerate it fie as long as I could, it only took one casual graze of his hand along my back to send me reeling into a corner, hyperventilating, sobbing, blubbering like a terrified child as I clawed at my neck while he tried to get it off of me.

'I'm so proud of you.' The statement feels like a backhanded reward. It feels as though I'm an idiotic child who just can't learn their ABC's or basic fundamental math. It feels like I'm a small toddler surrounded by adults looking at me full of pity in their eyes while they think 'well, you'll never be normal by any means. But maybe one day if you're lucky, you'll work in a Subway.' But they don't tell me this. They just praise me for existing. 'You woke up today! You put on clothes today! You didn't kill yourself!' It makes me want to scream. Yes, even at him. I want to grab him by his shirt and scream until my voice is shattered 'don't praise me for the bare minimum! I'm not a child!'

But I know he's not. I know he feels the same way when he slips back in progress as well. There was a solid month last year where Mike's insurance refused to pay for his sleep medication due to some paperwork slip and such, something they eventually realized was a complete blip on their end. But that month was hell for Mike, who could barely sleep well even with the medication. His easy smirks were replaced with cracked lips, skin raw from constant biting. His eyes were filled with paranoia from lack of sleep, and worse were the night terrors. Mike didn't even know he was still capable of having them, usually sedated by his meds well enough that if there was a nightmare, he just stayed asleep. At worst he'd wake up in a haze, maybe a very short yelp if anything. But without his meds, it was screaming. Constant screaming. There were nights he would wake after only an hour and he'd start, his voice shrill and reverberating off the walls as he thrashed in the bed. You couldn't console him, touch made him worse. When it happened, you simply had to leave the room and pray he would be okay. The episode could last anywhere from five minutes to an hour, and you would know it was over when all you could hear was broken sobbing, quiet and childlike in nature. Then I would return to the room, and there he'd be. Sometimes wrapped in blankets, sometimes his shirt torn off of himself. Usually sitting either in the dark corner of the room or on the floor of our closet. Red, angry marks would trail along his skin from clawing at himself with his uneven nails, some of them being actual cuts he'd managed in his terror. I'd carefully clean his cuts with cotton balls and hydrogen peroxide while he silently stared ahead, too ashamed to speak or make eye contact with me. And too terrified to sleep again.

Sleep deprivation didn't help, either. One day I saw him with a Redbull stuck in his hand, seemingly never empty despite how much he drank from it. At first I thought it was one, than I realized it was three, then I realized I didn't really know what number he was on. It was surprising how well he could take the new, unusual load of caffeine that tastes sickly sweet without so much as a twitch of an eyebrow. I didn't realize he was trying to starve off sleep until the next morning when his leg was bouncing a mile a minute and he was snapping at every little thing. That day he had a breakdown over dropping an unpeeled onion. And that's when it slipped out.

I didn't judge him. I was terrified for him, but I didn't judge him. And I could tell the same was true for him when I would have my slips, though mine looked different. Mine looked like a lack of self care and rotting in our bed, staring pointlessly ahead until he would lift me off the bed and carefully guide me to a warm bath, where he'd gently wash my skin with a soft rag like I was a newborn while I stared ahead at nothing. At this point we had learned to tell the oncoming signs of each others episodes, and how to starve them off. And if we couldn't, how to help each other through them.

Usually, I don't mind. But today, it hurts. It all hurts.

"Have you eaten?" Mike asks me gently, his thumb gliding over my cheekbone as he wraps me in his embrace, careful of where he places his hands on my person. Like I'm a bomb.

I don't want to be treated like this anymore.

"Yes," I sigh in an irritated voice, like it's the most inconvenient thing he should ask me such a question. But I haven't. I feel empty and yet too full at the same time, and guilt pounds behind my left eye with the ferocity of a headache that I can't just mother myself.

Mike doesn't believe me. He'll pretend he does, but the press of his lips betray him as he takes a deep breath in like he's trying to tell what wire to cut next.

"Would you like to have breakfast with me?" He asks softly, his thumb still stroking just below the raw corner of my eye. It burns. All of it.

'No,' I snap in my head. But I just tighten my jaw and press my own lips together.

"I'm not really hungry, but thank you," I say in a tight voice. Now he's going to pretend that's okay, and he'll go get his breakfast. Then he'll pretend he can't finish it all, joke lightly and say I gave him too big of a portion even though he eats like he's still a growing teenager, and offer me little bites as he "tries" to finish the rest, then eventually trick me into finishing it. He isn't slick, and I'm not a child.

"Hey," he says in a light whisper. "I was thinking maybe we could go out today? All three of us? Or I could call Max, see if she'll watch Abs for a little bit so we can get away?"

Distraction. Cute. I don't need it.

"That could be nice," I admit through half gritted teeth, not meeting his eyes. "Where to?"

"Anywhere," he says too quickly, obviously relieved to have a straw to grasp at. "Your choice."

Guilt twists in my chest like an alien creature settled in my lungs, burning as it begins to slither its way towards my throat to suffocate me on its wrath. He doesn't need to do this. Can't he see how well I'm doing?

"How was work?" He asks me in an attempt to keep me talking. Mike doesn't like silence, not like this. Not really any time. There's always noise throughout the house, whether it's a show on in the background or white noise from his cassette player. He can't stand silence. Especially from people.

"Work was..." Fine? The usual? Non-eventful?

"Good," I decide. Mike presses his lips together again. Stop doing that.

"Yeah?" He asks in a slightly tight voice.

"Yeah," I confirm in a tighter voice.

"You didn't... call out or anything?"

My bottom left back molar feels like it might snap from how tight my jaw is. "Why?" I ask, venom unintentionally creeping in.

"Just asking," he says quickly.

"Why?" I press harder, wanting to know who told on me. Abby hasn't even had the chance to speak with him.

'It's because he knows your patterns,' I think. 'He's trying to gage how serious this is.'

"Maybe we could go out for breakfast? We can wait until Abby wakes up, go get some Waffle Hous-"

"I'm not having an episode," I snap quickly, more harsh than I intended. My tone makes him flinch slightly, his eyes shutting for a moment as he takes another breath in. Now I'm scared he'll pull away.

"We... don't have to talk about this right now," he says softly, opening his eyes again and wrapping his arm around me tighter. "Let's just focus on breakfast."

The guilt pounds in my kidneys, which are sore since I haven't left the bed since I laid down after putting Abby to sleep, but I did have a full water bottle around 3:00 in the morning. It's not Mike's fault I backtracked. He's just trying to be nice. I'm the asshole here.

"I'm sorry," I say in a small voice, dropping my gaze and biting my tongue between my canines again to stop the tears that are now willing to come freely to burn my eyes during such an inappropriate moment.

"It's okay," Mike says softly, placing a kiss on my forehead. "Don't even think about it."

'Don't even think about the fact he's just trying to be a decent person and you can't even say 'thank you,'' a grating voice in my head chides me. 'What, you're too good for a free meal?'

"I'm sorry," I repeat softer, my nails digging into my wrist that I'm holding to keep control over myself. Mike's hand is searching for mine, ready to pry it away to prevent me from doing what I need to to prevent the waterworks.

"Hey." Stop with the 'hey's. "I said it's alright, you're okay."

It's all bad. Everything's bad, and it's not going to get better. I keep thinking I'll get better, I keep thinking I'll be okay. But every two steps forward is one step back and I can't keep doing this redundant bullshit for the rest of my life. Am I going to be 40 at the office Christmas party sneaking off to freak out in the bathroom because something triggered me and I just can't get a grip on things? Am I even going to make it to 40?

Mike is comforting me, cradling my head to his chest and rocking me back and forth. And his shirt is wet. I don't like that his shirt is wet, it should be dry. Why is it fucking wet?

"It's okay," he's whispering in my hair while horrid choking sounds come from somewhere around us. Maybe the other room? "You're alright, it's okay."

I'm aware it's alright, I'm aware it's okay. Why are you wet? Why does my head hurt?

"I can't- sleep," my voice chokes out between guttural sobs, my face pressed into his chest. "It's all nightmares."

Oh. Shit. That's me. The wetness, I did that. My bad.

"I know, it's okay. How long?" Mike asks softly. What, are you gonna call my therapist?

"A week," I moan into his chest. My ribs expand with each recycled breath I steal from against his chest, and I can feel him trying to gently tug me away so I can get one with fresh, cold air instead. I don't let him. My lungs burn more. "They just won't stop."

"It's okay, it's only temporary," he says softly, his hand pushing away some of the blanket to relieve me of the boiling warmth underneath. The cold air is refreshing against my skin, even through my clothes are soaked with stinking sweat.

"No, it's not!" I cry hysterically into his chest. "They don't go away. None of it goes away. I want it to go away!"

He's nodding, rubbing circles on my back as I grip his shirt hard enough it may stretch.

"It'll get better. It did for awhile," he reminds me.

"But I'm back here. I always end up back here. I was doing so good!" I sob, feeling the wetness on his shirt begin to slightly thicken, probably due to snot. I try to sniff it back into my sinuses, but I think that just draws his attention to the new fluid he's covered in.

"That's okay. You'll do even better next time. And if you don't, that's okay too." Don't say what I think you're going to say. Do not. Michael, I'm serious, don't- "I'm still proud of you."

Fuck. Ooooooff!

This is the real release of my emotions. Now I'm gasping, choking, sobbing, making horrible sounds that sound like a European ambulance siren wailing through the streets to announce someone's dying on the way to the hospital. My head throbs with the pain from the heavy crying, and I may give myself a nosebleed from the passion of it all. And Mike, his patience thick and durable, just holds me through it all. Letting me soak his shirt, dirty his skin, grab at him blindly while I wail like a spoiled child, just repeating the phrase over again. 'Proud.' What pride. What honor to be had at such a breakdown. Yes, very understandable.

"I should be better," I sob into his chest. "You deserve better."

"What?" He laughs lightly, and at first it feels mocking, but then he's pulling my head away fron my soaked enclosure and his eyes are so gentle for a moment I know the light laughter is simply from surprise. Then his eyes widen and he's back in parent mode.

"Don't leave me. Don't leave me!" I choke out while gripping his shirt. At first he thinks I'm talking about our relationship, then he realizes I'm not letting him pull away.

"Sweetheart, you're bleeding," he gently explains. "Let me wipe your face. I just need tissues. I'm not even leaving the bed."

But that's too much. Let me bleed, let my head throb, let this headache take the vision away in my eye from how bad it hurts. Let anything happen so long as I can stay in this moment. Don't break the spell. Don't let me go numb again.

"Don't leave me," I cry pathetically, my eyes all scrunched together in the same manner as wailing infants, my grip on his shirt not breaking. Sure enough, there on the wet spot of his shirt is a dark stain of blood that should hopefully come out if we wash it fast enough.

"Let me do that," I'm saying as I try to peel off his shirt now. "Let me wash it."

He's gently guiding my hands away. "Don't worry about it," he says gently, kissing my hands and wrists like they might break even from the delicate graze of his lips. "Let me take care of you."

He does this all the time. He always takes care of me. I should do more. Be more. For him.

"You deserve better," I choke out, feeling like I may suffocate from the tears. Mike's brows furrow in concern, and he grips my chin very carefully as he makes me meet his eyes.

"Hey, no. Get that out of your head, it's all okay," he tells me softly, staring at me like if he can't verbally convince me, his hard stare will do the trick. "I don't want to hear you talk like that."

"I should be better," I repeat, my crying lessening slightly as I try to hold eye contact.

"You're getting better," he reminds me. "This is the happiest I've seen you since we met. You'll get back to that. Hell, you could feel the same way tonight. It's okay. Take a day off. We all need one, even normal people," he says softly, stroking my hair as he kisses my forehead. "Can you just let me take care of you in the meantime?"

No. Go away, let me rot.

"We can still go out for breakfast," he offers gently. "I can still call Max, or we can all stay in. I'll set up a nest in the living room so you can watch TV. Works you like that?"

Stop. Stop being nice to me, stop trying to make me feel better. It all just feels awful. I don't want this guilt, someone takes it away.

Mike must sense my overwhelmed emotions, because he places another kiss on my forehead before asking if he can clean my face again, and this time I say yes. He pulls away, which is still upsetting but less so. I don't make a deal out of it this time at least. He opens a drawer, searching for wipes and pulling them out before turning back to me.

"Do you want to sit up?" He asks gently. I bite my tongue to prevent another mocking thought directed towards me and nod. Bones crack as I do, my kidneys hurt worse. But at least I finally moved.

Tears still streak down my face as Mike wipes away the snot and blood, his large hand gently cupping my face as he does. There's a soft smile on his face, though I'm not particularly sure why. And when he's done, he runs his thumb along my bottom lip before placing his own lips on top of mine. They're chapped, one spot raw from excessive biting. But there's still some leftover chapstick on them, and it tastes like grapefruit.

I tug on his shirt, one hand sneaking under it to feel his cool skin underneath. He gently takes my wrist once more, then pulls away. A silent rejection. He knows that I'm just looking for a distraction from my emotions, and in a moment he'll offer a much healthier one. He does discard the shirt, leaving his chest bare, but only so that he doesn't smear my fluids back onto me as he pulls me in for another embrace.

"We'll be okay," he promises. "Everything will be okay."

"What if it's not?" I ask in a quiet, strained voice.

"Then it'll be okay later. You can take time to not be okay," he says.

There's a short silence before either of us speak. And when I hear his voice hitch in the way it does when he's about to say something, Abby's alarm rings crystal clear in her room. Then the sound of a truck rattles by on the road in front of the house. Birds continue to sing. And my pours feel so clogged I'm sure my skin will be lashing out for days.

But it'll all be okay.

                             ¤▪︎{♧}▪︎¤

"Can we have some fluff to reco-" no. Suffer.

Taglist:

@cassiecasluciluce @gh0u1ishly @joshhutchersons-slut @schmidtsbimbo @sugarevans @wompwompwomp57 @jhutchissupercool @laurrrelise. Thank you for your support pookies!!! <3

               •▪︎Masterlist▪︎•

[russellsppttemplates]

It's just the beggining (Oscar Piastri)

Oscar hasn't done or said anything, so you're taking matters into your own hands

Note: english is not my first language. It's my first Oscar piece and I'm nervous posting this, but hopefully you enjoy it! 🫶

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Cw: mentions reader's grandparents' health issues, mentions the situation with McLaren and Daniel, insomnia

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Hey, Y/N!", James called you once he saw you walk by his classroom, "hey", you greeted back, adjusting your books on your arms.

"There is a new kid, I'm sure you know, Oscar Piastri his name is, and apparently he's staying the long weekend too, like you", he trailed off, not knowing if he was stepping further than he should.

"Yes, I am staying, it's okay to talk about it", you gave him tight lipped smile, "well, I was hoping you'd keep him company - he's a bit shy, but he's very fun to be around and the teacher also thought it would be good since you're both staying", he reasoned as you nodded.

You had to stay back because your grandparents didn't live in England, and because of their old age and problems that naturally arose with that, your parents had to fly out and spend sometime with them, meaning you didn't have anyone back home, so you stayed. As for Oscar, you found out that he was staying back because his family was in Melbourne.

"At first, I just had online schooling, but it got trickier to manage and my dad needed to go back to work so I had to stay back", he explained when you asked him why he was there, "and I hope I can focus on racing, but you already know that", he scoffed softly.

"I don't think I do, I'm sorry", you narrowed your eyes, genuinely unaware of what he was talking about.

After he told you all about his career until that moment, as well as his hopes and dreams, he chuckled, "you really didn't know?", he wondered.

"I didn't! The girls said something about you moving here but I didn't listen much, I'm not that into gossip and my memory is like Dory's, I can never keep up with the latest who likes who and who flirted with what's his face", you earnestly replied.

For the first time since he arrived at the school, he felt like he could really trust someone and he could hope for new friendships on this side of the world.

You were there for his final race in F4, clapping at him on the podium, and even F3 and F2 despite your university deadlines, always making sure you could support him in every way you could.

"Hey, Osc", you said over the phone, setting your pen down the desk and swivelling in the chair. You wanted to get as much knowledge and experience as possible, so you applied to do a internship in a physiotherapy clinic near your apartment during the summer.

"Hey, Y/N, how are you doing?", he asked as you could notice the antsyness on his voice.

"I'm good, it's a bit of a slow day here, my supervisor said I could read up on a few articles", you mused, "is everything okay?", you asked.

"I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner tonight", he began, "you can come to my flat if that's okay, I'll order something in since I can't be trusted in the kitchen", he suggested.

"Fine by me, I'd like that, sounds really nice", you smiled, "I'll see you soon, then", you added, not wanting to dwell much on the fact that he didn't answer your question.

When you left the clinic, you walked to Oscar's place since the sun had graced you for the day and it was still nice to be out. Knocking on the door, you waited for him to open it, "I'm still in my scrubs as I didn't see the need to change", you said as you walked inside, hugging Oscar after dropping your backpack on the floor.

"Hey, you look nice, don't worry about it", he smiled as he led you to the living room, "I had to go and get the take out myself, but it's still warm", he said as you sat at the dining table.

"Now can you tell me if there's something wrong?", you wondered as you poured some of the wine he kept for you at his place on your glass.

"I have something to tell you actually", he played with his glass while he fought the smile on his lips, "this weekend I finally had some conversations with McLaren", he began.

"McLaren?", you asked as you served yourself of the food in front of you, taking some bimi brocoli and then some of the warm noodles.

"Yes, McLaren. We finally spoke about contracts and, this morning, I signed the official driver contract for next season", he stated as if he was saying that the sun had been out today.

"You did what? Since when has this been in the works?", you gasped, dropping the kitchen utensils and looking at him intently, "you're driving for McLaren next season?", he nodded, "like, driving on track? Oh my Goodness, Oscar! That's amazing!", you got up and hugged him, "why didn't you lead with that?", you pinched the nape of his neck playfully as you kept the tears from falling from your eyes. This was his dream and he was getting to live it as early as the end of the year when pre season preparations began.

"I didn't want to tell you over the phone", he shrugged his shoulders.

"But how? This is huge, Oscar!", you smiled, your teeth showing and eyes squinting with how high your cheeks rose.

"There were a lot of conversations about it, specially the last few weeks", Oscar explained, "they still want to keep it quiet", he warned.

"So you're driving alongside Lando?", you wondered. You only followed motorsport and the Formula series because of your bestfriend, so the assumption you made was based on what you had seen and read.

"Yes, hence why they want to keep it quiet, I've only told you and my family", he mentioned, "my manager knows that, obviously, but I really need you to keep quiet about it", he smiled.

"Absolutely, don't worry!", you assured, "this is so amazing Oscar! You're going to drive in Formula One! Aren't you amazed?", you beamed.

"I put in the work too, you know?", he dramatically feigned offense as you hugged him tighter, "this is your dream, Osc", you cooed, letting the tears fall freely down your cheeks as you swayed you both around, "I'm so proud of you", you hiccuped, holding his head close to your lips so you could kiss his forehead.

"Let's eat, this is getting cold", your best friend urged as the situation for more intimate and brought you closer and closer to the thing he had been avoiding for nearly a year.

The feelings he had been arbouring for you weren't just friendship. How could he keep himself from being in love with you? You had been there with him and for him when he was alone in a new country, being the other shy kid that spent the long weekend im boarding school, and since then you had been attached by the hip. You were kind, caring, intelligent, beautiful inside and outside and anyone would be a fool to not see why Oscar felt the way he did about you.

.

"I'm just going to a training camp, Y/N, I do these every year!", Oscar reasoned as you groaned.

"Who am I going to complain to about university? Or how noisy my neighbours are? I'm going to die of boredom", you stated, "when you come back, I will have ceased to exist because of boredom and lack of attention", you exaggeratedly threw yourself on your sofa.

"You won't, silly", he chuckled, pulling you up since his trainer was picking him up soon, "you're going to go out and enjoy yourself, okay? You'll barely notice I'm gone", he tried as you helped him with his suitcases down to the door.

"I'll miss you", you muttered as you hugged him, "enjoy your training camp!", you smiled as you pulled away, waving at him before you made your way to your place.

Getting on with the project you had to hand in at the end of the week, you got it all through to the end, leaving time to proofread later.

You clicked on the folder where you kept your photos and videos, looking through them and reliving all of the memories you had in there.

Most of them had Oscar somehow, wether it was a screen grab from one of your FaceTime calls when he was at races, picnics in the park and lazy days at your place.

You had to admit it, for your sake and Oscar's sake as your friendship was on the line. At first you thought it was just the fact that a boy seemed to want to spend time with you, so you put it to that. Recently, however, things changed perspective and you felt stronger feelings and emotions when you thought about him.

You loved spending time with him and cherished every single hour he chose to spend with you whenever he didn't have racing related duties. Every time he hugged you, you clung just a little longer to feel hia body against yours and his arms enveloping you.

Whenever someone approached you in the rare times you went out clubbing with your friends, "I have a boyfriend" became more a wish and a need rather than some made up excuse to get guys to leave you alone.

So, to sum it up, you either had an honest conversation with him or continued to dwell on feelings you couldn't keep to yourself.

.

"Y/N just sent me a picture of her notes, can you believe they ask them to know all of that?", he showed his trainer Kim while they had lunch after a strenuous workout.

"I had to learn most of that, too", he said nonchalantly, not necessarily diminishing your competences and intelligence but letting Oscar know that maybe his infatuation with you had a source elsewhere.

"Y/N is very smart, I'm sure she'll do really well - oh, she sent me a picture, she's all dressed up!", he said as he inspected the mirror picture. He assumed it was a requirement for your presentation, as you usually preferred comfy attire, since you had a pair of trousers and a shirt, some small heels on your feet and your bright smile that left him feeling butterflies in his stomach every single time, "she looks gorgeous", he said as he texted you the same words along with wishes of good luck.

"Something you'd like to say?", Oscar quesioned when he felt Kim's eyes on him as he put the phone back on the table, screen down.

"I'm just here wondering why you're not together", the trainer offered simply after he wiped his mouth on the napkin.

"No, we are not together, at least not yet", he mused. The thought had crossed his mind, admitting how he felt about you before the season began. If everything went belly up and you didn't feel the same and didn't see him that way, he would occupy his time and channel all of his energy into racing; if you did feel the same, he would have been worrying for nothing and would have a extra spring up his step for his first season in Formula One.

"Good to know you're working on it", Kim waved his fork at Oscar, "now we need to finish this and we'll do some recovery stretches", he announced as Oscar groaned, prolonging his meal as long as he could.

.

Today, Oscar was coming back from Lanzarote and you couldn't wait to speak to him. Lately, it all dawned on you.

It happened a couple of nights ago, a slight insomnia episode keeping you up when you thought about what things would be like from now on. Oscar would travel a lot more, and he would be in a much public role compared to his previous one. It would seem stupid to other people, but a lot more people would know him, and you were sure they would fall in love with him. How could they not? Hence why you wanted to quit those thoughts while you were ahead of them.

I'm on the cab to your place, it should take another 10 minutes and Can't wait to see you, Oscar texted you just as you finished tidying your living room.

You missed him dearly, so when you threw yourself into his arms, you didn't let go as he kicked his suitcases into your apartment while still holding close to him, "I kind of need to get my backpack off my back, and I can't do that if I don't set you somewhere - only for a bit at the very least", Oscar suggested after trying to balance you against his body with one arm but he didn't feel safe enough to let you go without you falling.

Reluctantly, you got back down, feet back on the floor as he discarded his backpack before he tapped your hip twice, "up again, I want a proper hug", he mumbled as you jumped back, his hands protectively holding your thighs up as he nuzzled his face on your neck, "I need you so, so much", he sighed.

"I missed you too", you replied back, "and I don't ever want to miss you like this when I don't know how to feel about you", you forwarded. Now or never, you thought as you jumped out of his hold and faced him.

"I missed you like I have never missed you before, not even when you go a visit your family or when you went away for triple headers - and I've been trying to understand why and I finally realised what it was. I like you, more than friends like eachother - for Goodness' sake, I'm in love with you", you chuckled nervously as you admitted it out loud to him, "and everyone else will love you too - I just know it -, so soon enough you won't be my Osc anymore and I couldn't not tell you. People - and these gorgeous girls all over the world - are going to like you so much and I won't be able to compete with them, so I'm just telling you how I feel. You can leave if you want or we'll just stay here in silence of that works too, but I needed to admit my feelings", you let out in one go.

Oscar smiled, a big teeth and gums showing smile as his eyes crinkled at your words, "I'm not leaving, and we are not going to be silent - at least immediately - because I want to tell you how I feel", he began, "I'm in love with you too; I have been for about two years and only realised it a year ago, and I don't want to pretend anymore. I want to be able to kiss you, to hug you, to take you with me wherever possible, to sleep next to you, to argue with you, I want all of it. With you", he said, hand cupping your cheek as his eyes asked for consent to kiss your lips.

It was as you dreamed it would be, soft, gentle and caring, lips moving in sync as you held him by his waist, pulling him closer to you.

"I thought I was loosing you to the whole F1 fandom", you chuckled, looking up at him once you pulled away.

"Of course you won't, you're my best girl", he winked, "this is just the beggining for us", he added as he pulled you to cuddle on the sofa, sharing his stories of the past days as you revelled in the feeling of being in his arms.

[neohoestechnology]

I absolutely love your moodboards and headcanons! Could you do one for Draco? 🥰🫶🏻

Thank you so much!!💗💗

I'm SO sorry it took so long (mainly because I saw the request yesterday 🫠 my university is KILLING me sorry😭). This is LONG so bare with me + my English is rusty af so I apologize for any grammar mistake

☆ Draco Malfoy Headcanons & Moodboard ☆

Okay, so, a quick disclaimer here before we get started -----> now, I really believe that Draco is one the most tricky character to "get right" (speaking of his behavior and thoughts), so I just wanted to say that this is my personal interpretation and could be 100% different from yours so please be kind🥹

Oh boy, it took A LOT for you two to finally get together; a lot of time, a lot of effort, a lot of sacrifice and arguments between both of you and your friends. Just a lot.

I think we can all agree that our beloved boy couldn't care less about girls before during his first years at Hogwarts. Some things changed as time passed by, a lot, actually. He changed in the first place, becoming old enough to finally understand his family affairs and secrets. He HAD to change. He wanted to gain strength to be able to carry this new burden on his shoulders and to show his worth, but it all developed into a self-destruction, never-ending cycle that made him feel left out and alone. You, on the other hand, always seemed to have all figured out, and always looked so calm and caring. Truth is that you also felt like you were missing something, like you didn't really fit in for some reason.

It's not really clear how or why you two got together, but somehow, it happened.

Your caring nature always irritated him. How naive, he thought, but that time you found him crying on the bathroom floor, all alone and desperate, he thanked God that you came.

From this episode, bit by bit, your relationship started to form.

You two are VERY good at keeping it private, very discreet.

At the end of the day, you just have one another to stay with, and you are more than okay with that. People started to get suspicious, though; your friends started to notice your frequent excuses and distance, wondering WHAT ON EARTH they did to make you feel this way. Little did they know about your secret midnight meetings with a boy whose reputation speaks for himself.

Even though you two never show up together as a couple, you actually never feel lonely during the day. It's all about those secretly exchanged gazes, the typical side eye thing from across the room when someone is talking bs, him softly brushing his hand against yours when you are leaving a class and no one can see.

BUT, when you two are ACTUALLY ALONE... Soft touches, hushed words and pleading eyes.

You like to share silence together, there's nothing left to share after your first bathroom rendezvous.

I feel like he smells like wood, like deep forest or something like that, but his smell is kinda comforting (my scent-describing skills are nonexistent sorry😭)

I mean, you can feel his presence even without seeing him.

He has this thing about his eyes, like the way he looks at you. Everyone who played close attention to his gaze could tell it was love and admiration.

LOVES when you run your hands through his hair (sometimes you could swear to hear him purring).

Likes to make flowers appear between the pages of your potion book while taking classes, only to give you a subtle smile and turn his head to read his instructions immediately after.

Your first time together was during the Christmas break, when there were just the two of you in the entire Slytherin dorm. It was the first time he said "I love you" (it's fucking cheesy but I love it eheh). Everything was so slow and sensual. Lips, hands and kisses everywhere. Slow thrusts with your hands intertwined and his head buried in your neck.

His hands are always so cold that he has to keep them in your sleeves (he loves it though)

Likes watching you sleep (not in a creepy way don't worry lol). He'd brush your hair out of your face and caress your face softly.

Would fidget a lot while talking to you, mostly to distract himself from the fact that he gets weak in the knees every time he looks in your eyes, even after all this time. He'd 100% play with your hands or hair just because.

You'd literally yank his hand from his mouth every time he bit his nails or picked at his skin.

He's the type of person who would do hot things without even realizing. He would undo a few buttons of your shirt just to button them up right away just because he thought they looked weirdly asymmetrical, causing you to blush and stutter. And this mf would just tell you to go on and finish what you were saying (okay, maybe he does this on purpose).

You know that the way he behaves around others is just a facade. He is so broken and hopeless that he HAS to act that way around them, but when he's with you, his safe place, he feels so grateful that he gets to get loose from his worries and reveal the real person he is that it scares him how attracted he is to you, how primal his need for you is.

When your friends found out that you were dating Mr Bully Malfoy, they just couldn't wrap their heads around the reason that spurred you to do so. Let's just say that you are not friends anymore. You tried to explain yourself countless times, but they didn't seem to understand nor were willing to do so, and you thought you were better off without them anyway.

He got the same treatment from his friends ngl. It was better this way, honestly. In the end, you just needed one another to feel complete and fulfilled.

He thought about running away with you almost once a day during his 6th year. He knew what, better say who, was coming. He was sure that the death eaters wouldn't spare anyone, maybe himself included. When he first told you, he was sure you would laugh it off and call him paranoid, but instead, you listened to him carefully and decided to plan your escape with him without even flinching.

It was a gloomy night in the middle of the winter. Rushed footsteps were echoing in a corridor, then in the hall, down the stairs. Restless eyes were wandering around the path, occasionally looking back to check no one was tagging after them. A subtle creaking of a rusty gate opening was heard, and then nothing else.

OKAY SO I got WAY MORE carried away than I should and I know this is longer and more serious and dark than what I usually do but I tried my best. Actually, I'm not 100% satisfied with how it turned out and maybe the person who asked it expected something different and more light-hearted, and I apologize for it. Again, writing this character is difficult af.

I do not possess any of these photos, all credits go to the owners.

Love you, B. 🌱🤍

[ashwhowrites]

omg i'm so excited to see that you're taking requests again, i'm a big fan of your angst!! ❤️ i was wondering if you could write another hellcheer x reader fic? maybe one with a soulmate/soulmark au, in which Chrissy and Eddie are each others soulmates and their best friend, the reader, has been secretly crushing on the both of them for a while.

she pines after them despite knowing she could never have them, and one day she hears rumors that a second mark has appeared on the couple, and is shocked to find out that their marks have also appeared on her. at first she's excited and rushes to tell them that she's their other soulmate, but is devastated when she overhears Chrissy and Eddie talking about their newfound soulmate, she hears Chrissy questioning how the new soulmark could affect their relationship, and Eddie confidently reassures her that he won't let anyone come between him and Chrissy, and wants nothing to do with his other soulmate.

not wanting to lose either of them, she hides her identity as the owner of the second mark and ends up pulling away from Chrissy and Eddie in the process. they're saddened that their best friend has suddenly pulled away from them and try to find out what's wrong, only to find out that the reader is their other soulmate.

angst with a happy ending pretty please? 🙏 anyways i'm sorry this got super long, if this is too much or just simply isn't your thing then feel free to ignore :D

I love this idea! I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Two soulmates

There was a saying that everyone has a soulmate out there in the world. This seemed to be true for everyone around but Y/N was left with no one. She was terrified of not having a soulmate out there in the world, but a mark still had yet to appear on her skin.

It wouldn't matter if she got one anyway, the two people she desperately is in love with were together and marked as soulmates. Y/N met Eddie and Chrissy as a couple, easily becoming friends with them. At times she didn't feel like a third wheel, just a group of friends. Chrissy and Eddie weren't very affectionate in front of her, which she was grateful for.

She knew her love for them was helpless and that she'd never be with either of them. But no matter what she did, the feelings never disappeared. She couldn't stop herself from crushing on them, but she wished she could because it hurt like hell.

~~~

Y/N believed she could move on if she was positive they didn't feel the same, but at times it felt like they liked her more than a friend too.

Y/N was cuddled under Eddie's arm as the movie played, Chrissy sprawled out on the couch with her head on Eddie's lap. Y/N tried not to look as Eddie's hand rested on Chrissy's stomach. She couldn't help but feel jealous.

"Any update on if you got your mark?" Eddie spoke quietly to not wake Chrissy. His chin rested on her head and Y/N loved the feeling of it.

"Nope," Y/N sighed, "starting to think I'll be forever alone" She tried to laugh it off but she feared it would become reality.

"No, you won't. I'd never let that happen," he pressed a kiss to her head and she could feel her skin burn.

"I fear it's out of your control, Eds," she whispered, turning her head so she could look up at him. Her heart sped up as she took in his soft eyes and perfect face. The room was dark except for the TV light, she swore he looked down at her lips but maybe she was seeing things.

"I wish it wasn't, sometimes I wish we could be with whoever we wanted," he whispered back. She saw it again, the slow look down to her lips before he looked back into her eyes.

She was afraid to blink, scared she'd knock him out of the trance he was in. She held her breath when he slowly began to lean in. It was wrong, she knew that. His girlfriend, her best friend, was right under them but she wanted to lean in, so she did. Their lips were inches away from connecting, and neither of them was pulling away. Just as Y/N felt the softness of Eddie's lips, Chrissy moved. Snapping them both back into reality and jumping apart. Y/N's heart pounded in her chest as she tried to focus back on the film, trying to act like she didn't just feel Eddie's lips on hers.

Eddie coughed and looked back at the TV. Y/N could feel his glances towards her but she was too chicken to look at him. Chrissy groaned as she slowly began to wake up, the guilt eating Y/N alive.

They never did talk about that moment, both acting like it never happened. Even when they found themselves in that same moment over and over.

~~~

"How about this one?" Chrissy asked as she came out of the bathroom twirling in her short dress.

Chrissy was waiting for Eddie to pick her up for their date, trying on different dresses and wanting her best friend's help.

Y/N tried to cover the fact she was drooling at the mouth as Chrissy showed her the red dress.

"I think that's it!" Y/N said excitedly, she wished more than anything Chrissy was dressing up for her.

"Perfect, can you zip me up?" Chrissy asked, turning around. Y/N walked over and grabbed the zipper at the bottom of the dress. Chrissy shivered as goosebumps filled her skin and Y/N's soft fingers touched her.

Y/N slowly zipped up the dress, watching Chrissy's skin become covered. She was so close she could hear Chrissy's breathing picking up. The moment was far too intimate for two friends. Once it was zipped, neither moved. Y/N looked at Chrissy through the mirror in front of them and Chrissy stared back. Both girls felt the tension as the room got hotter.

"You look beautiful," Y/N complimented. Her soft whisper made Chrissy's heart race.

"Thank you," Chrissy whispered back, still staring at each other in the mirror.

Chrissy's phone rang and the sound made them jump apart. Y/N stepped back as Chrissy picked up the phone.

"Eddie, hey! Yeah I'm ready," Chrissy said, something sad in her eyes as she looked towards Y/N. Y/N gave her a small smile and began to pack up her things to go home.

Y/N and Chrissy weren't sure what that moment meant, but they knew it wasn't nothing.

~~~

It was getting harder for Y/N to ignore the secret moments she's been having with the couple. It was making her fall even more into them.

Y/N was walking down the hall when she heard people whispering. Which wasn't anything new in highschool, but the sound of Chrissy and Eddie's name got her attention.

"It's true! I saw it on Chrissy's shoulder when we changed for gym. She has a new mark right next to her other one. It's a completely different one. I don't know how but it seems she has two soulmates."

Y/N found that very strange, keeping the information in her head to ask Chrissy about it. As she continued to walk, she heard someone saying the same thing about Eddie.

She couldn't help but feel her stomach sink at the idea of them having another soulmate. She couldn't even get one but they got two? The shit wasn't fair.

The gossip got around most of the school, and it was confirmed that the couple had the same new mark, which meant someone else was connected to them.

Y/N wasn't sure she wanted to know who the other one was. She felt like she needed a breather so she went into the bathroom. She felt as if her body was overheating so she stripped off her sweater. She didn't notice it at first, but then she saw it. A mark on her shoulder. She couldn't contain her excitement. She grabbed her jacket and raced out of the bathroom.

She had no idea where the couple was but she was excited to share the news. She practically skipped down the hallway as she looked for their lockers.

She smiled as she saw them at Chrissy's locker. They looked to be in a deep conversation, Chrissy had tears running down her face. Y/N remained unnoticed as she got closer.

"I don't want anyone else. How can we have a new soulmate? I don't want to share you with anyone," Chrissy cried. Y/N frowned but understood where she was coming from. It was a big change to accept.

Eddie held her face and comforted his girlfriend.

"You won't have to share me. I promise that no one will come in between us. I love you and I'll only love you. I don't care about this stupid new mark, and I don't care who else has it. No one is going to change my mind about us."

"So even if we find out who it is, you won't let them change us?" Chrissy asked, her tears drying as her boyfriend's comforting words settled her fears.

"Exactly. It doesn't matter who it is because I know I'll never love anyone like I love you. You are my one and only soulmate. As far as I am concerned, I only have one soulmate mark that means something to me."

Y/N could feel her heart snapping in half. She quickly sped off before she sobbed. She felt stupid for thinking for one second that either of them held feelings for her. She felt played by Eddie, all those times they kissed meant nothing to him. He didn't care about her, he liked the attention.

She swore Chrissy felt something for her, the tension they had was recognizable. There was something between them but if Chrissy wanted to ignore it, then Y/N would too.

~~~

It sucked that Y/N finally got a soulmate and they wanted nothing to do with her. They were her only chance at love.

She made sure to hide her mark with makeup and clothes, not wanting anyone to find out she was the additional soulmate.

She tried her best to act like nothing was wrong whenever she was with them. But it was hard when her heart was breaking.

"Alright, hit play," Chrissy said as she handed out bowls of popcorn. Eddie hit play. They got in their usual positions but Y/N stayed on the other side of the couch.

Eddie glanced in her direction, but she refused to look back. Halfway through the movie, Chrissy is passed out in Eddie's lap. This usually was the time when Eddie and Y/N got too close.

Eddie wasn't sure why Y/N was giving him the cold shoulder, but he knew that it made his stomach hurt.

"Any updates?" he asked, this time she turned to look at him.

"Nope," she lied, tugging her clothes up higher on her shoulder. "But I hear you two do."

Eddie frowned at her snappy tone. "Yeah, it's been a little difficult for us, but we are making it work."

"Don't you think it's a little unfair to your other soulmate?" Y/N asked, her eyes turned to focus on the TV.

Eddie scrunched his eyebrows, "I think it's unfair to our relationship. Now we have to deal with the burden of belonging with someone else."

Y/N nodded and bit down on her tongue, keeping her tears back. She was a burden to their relationship. "Well, hopefully, they won't come find you." Her voice shook and Eddie gave her a worried glance.

"Yeah I hope," he sighed, looking down at Chrissy's sleeping face.

~

"It's hard but I feel reassured that Eddie doesn't want to have another soulmate," Chrissy explained as she painted Y/N's toes.

"Must feel nice knowing he loves you so much," Y/N said. It pained her to admit. She felt miserable whenever she saw them. She felt heartbroken and jealous. She couldn't escape her feelings and it seemed they tore her apart whenever she was with them.

"It is, and I love him so much that I don't think I could love anyone else," Chrissy admitted

Y/N wanted to scream "What about us?" What about their secret touches, eyes lingering too long, and the way they made each other's hearts race. None of that was love?

~~~

Y/N decided she needed to put herself first and create distance. Chrissy and Eddie were so tied up in each other that she didn't think they'd care.

"Is she coming?" Eddie asked, his feet on the coffee table as Chrissy walked over.

"She said no," Chrissy frowned, and she landed herself on Eddie's lap. A feeling of sadness in her stomach.

"That's okay, we can have date night," Eddie smiled. But on the inside, he was bothered about her not coming.

~~~

A week passed, and Eddie and Chrissy began to feel as if Y/N was pulling away from them. They didn't want to make a fuss over anything but once a week turned into two, they got worried.

Most of their calls were unanswered, and when she did answer it was a quick minute call. She stopped hanging with them and passed by them in school. It was like she became a stranger.

Chrissy offered to talk to her first, figuring a girl-to-girl talk would be successful. She pulled up to her house, refusing to leave until Y/N let her in so they could talk.

"Are you okay? Eddie and I miss you," Chrissy asked. She stood against Y/N's desk.

"I'm good. I just needed some time to myself," Y/N explained.

"Why though? We are always together, did something happen?"

"No, I needed a break and a second to think stuff over,"

"Why would you need a break from us?"

"Because you play with my head!" Y/N argued, standing across from Chrissy with an irritated look. "You can lie to yourself and to Eddie, but you can't lie to me."

"What the hell am I lying about?" Chrissy fought back, she felt defensive as Y/N backed her into a corner.

"You say we are just friends and Eddie is the only one. But why is it that when we are alone, he doesn't seem to be in your head?"

"What are you hinting at?" Chrissy asked with a glare, she did not appreciate Y/N's new hostile personality.

"You have feelings for me, and you know I have them for you too."

Chrissy felt as if something was crushing on her chest, she struggled to breathe. She never admitted it to herself, and she wasn't sure she was ready now.

"Y/N, I can't have feelings for you," Chrissy nervously laughed, "I'm with Eddie and he's my soulmate."

"You plan to ignore your other soulmate so I know you don't care about the true soulmate bullshit so be honest about us for once!" Y/N fought, she was starting to feel angry.

"I am! We are friends and that is all I plan for us to be," Chrissy stated, her breathing fast as she pushed back tears.

"Then start acting like a friend when your boyfriend isn't around. You can leave now," Y/N spat. If Chrissy wanted to act like friends is all they were, then so be it. Y/N was done being toyed along with.

Chrissy wanted to say more but knew it wouldn't help. She sighed and walked out. Once she made it to her car, she cried.

She wanted to admit it, but she was too scared. She was supposed to only love Eddie but now her best friend wanted more and there was another soulmate out there. Chrissy couldn't keep up with her heart.

~~~

After the disaster of conversation with Chrissy, Eddie decided to give it a shot. Chrissy didn't give Eddie any details, just said Y/N needed time alone.

"Hey, I wanted to check up on you, maybe talk?" Eddie stated as Y/N opened the door. She sighed but let him through.

"Chrissy tell you anything?" She asked

"No," Eddie said. She figured as much. Chrissy wouldn't dare sabotage her relationship with Eddie. Y/N nodded and sat down on the couch. Eddie sat beside her.

"What's going on? Why do you want so much space?" he asked

"Eddie, how long did you plan to kiss me in secret and declare Chrissy is the only one you are in love with?"

Eddie gulped at the heavy question. He wanted to be naive and believe this conversation would never have happened.

"I don't think we should talk about this," Eddie confessed. Y/N stood up as she glared at him.

"No, we are! I am tired of our secret moments and then you ignoring them. If you like me, love me, then tell me. Stop stringing me along." Y/N fought

"Chrissy is my soulmate," Eddie argued

"I don't give a shit!" Y/N spat, "I am sick of that being your excuse. She was your soulmate every time we kissed, right? So why is she being your soulmate only matter when it's time to face your actions. I mean come on, Eddie, did you think I'd never get tired of it? Did you ever think about how I feel about you? The torture you are putting me through?"

"You're right, I'm sorry. I never took the time to think about how painful it would end up for you." Eddie sighed, "I was selfish. I love Chrissy, I truly do. But I have a connection to you, something pulls me and I've tried to ignore it for so long." He stood up and walked over to her. "I've been going crazy too. Loving the two of you and the pain of knowing I can only belong with one of you."

Y/N gulped as his hand cupped her cheek. She watched as he leaned in, his eyes closing as his lips softly touched hers. She moved her hands to his hair as she kissed him back.

The kiss was different than all the others. Far more desperate and needy. He clung to her body like she'd vanish.

Their moment was cut short when Chrissy walked in, shock all over her face as she took in the sight of them pulling apart.

"Chrissy," Eddie said in an apologetic tone

"You confess you have feelings for me and now you're kissing my boyfriend?" Chrissy asked, her voice sad rather than mad.

"Wait you have feelings for Chrissy?" Eddie asked

The couple looked at Y/N confused as the girl stuttered with tears in her eyes.

"It's true. I'm in love with both of you. I have been for a long time but I knew it would never become anything. I fought to ignore it, but then," her eyes locked on Eddie's, "we kissed, and then we kissed again. It fed into the possibility of us and for once my heart didn't hurt."

"You kissed her?" Chrissy asked, sadness in her voice as she looked towards Eddie. She felt betrayed but also knew she was guilty of feelings.

"And Chrissy," Y/N called back her attention, "we might have never kissed, but there were moments where it could have happened. I can't force you to feel something, but I can't keep my feelings a secret for your sake. I've been honest about my feelings and I think it's time you do the same."

"I kissed her because I'm in love with her," Eddie admitted, he looked to Chrissy, "I love you, and I don't want to lose you, but I can't lose her either. I'm equally in love with both of you and I don't know what to do." He sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh.

Chrissy sat next to him and held his hand. "it's okay, Eddie. And I'm not mad at either of you," her eyes looked to Y/N. "Pushing my feelings away for Y/N seemed like the best option, but I was wrong. It caused a lot of pain and I'm sorry. Y/N, I have feelings for you and I didn't know what to do. I don't understand why I have this pull towards you."

"I think I know why," Y/N said, the couple looked at her. She removed her shirt, Eddie and Chrissy taking the time to sneak a look at her body. But then their eyes looked up and noticed a mark on her shoulder.

"Is that?" Chrissy asked as she stood up, dropping Eddie's hand. She reached out and traced the mark, it was the same as hers.

"Why did you not say anything?" Eddie asked as he stood up to see it for himself.

"I was going to, but I overheard you guys talking. And Eddie said he would never love anyone else and that he didn't care who had the other mark. I was devastated." Y/N confessed.

"I meant it, but knowing that it's you that we could be with, I would have never said that. If I knew it was you the whole time, I would have embraced you in a second." Eddie explained.

"Same here. I was terrified but if I knew it was you, I wouldn't have been scared or threatened. I'm so fucking happy to know it's you." Chrissy smiled.

"So, are we going to do this? Be soulmates? All of us," Y/N asked.

Chrissy swallowed her nerves and leaned in. Her lips smashing on Y/N's. Y/N gasped but gladly kissed her back. She never thought she'd see the day she kissed Chrissy. Chrissy pulled away and Eddie drew Y/N into a kiss of his own.

Y/N felt like she was dreaming as she kissed him back. He pulled away and smiled at her.

"We are going to do this."

~~~

"Play the movie!" Eddie groaned, Chrissy and Y/N pulled away from their heated kiss, giggling at Eddie's annoyed face.

"Sorry, starting it now," Chrissy said as she pressed play. She settled herself across Eddie's lap and Y/N tucked herself under his arm. Y/N played with Chrissy's hair as the movie started, Eddie leaned down and nudged Y/N with his nose. She laughed and looked at him, giving him access to press his lips against hers.

~

"Can you believe Y/N is the one with the mark?"

Y/N ignored the whispers as she walked down the hallways, hand in hand with Chrissy and Eddie. She knew she'd be the talk of the school as she joined the couple that was always the talk of the school.

She didn't mind, she loved being with her partners.

~

Eddie and Y/N cheered as Chrissy did her cheerleading routine. Both stared at her in awe as she flipped around the football field. Eddie had his arm wrapped around Y/N, shielding her away from the cold.

"Where should we take her for dinner?" Eddie asked as the crowd cheered as the football players came out.

"With how she looks tonight, I think she should be our dinner," Y/N whispered into Eddie's ear, placing her hand on his inner thigh.

Eddie let out a soft moan, "I agree, gorgeous."

~

Chrissy and Y/N were soaked in sweat as they danced with each other. Chrissy's body pressed against Y/N's as they dry-humped each other on the dance floor.

"Which one is yours?" A sleazy guy yelled in Eddie's ear as he rested against the bar watching his girls.

"Both of them," Eddie said with a smirk as he tossed his whiskey back.

"Yeah, right dude," the guy laughed, but Eddie gave him a small nod and set the glass on the bar. He walked smugly over to the dance floor, both girls cheering as they noticed him. Eddie was happy to take the attention as Chrissy stood behind him and Y/N stood in front of him. Their hands were all over his body as his lips kissed Y/N. He moaned into her mouth as Chrissy's lips attacked his neck.

~

"Eddie can you hurry up, we are freezing!" Chrissy whined, she sat between Y/N's legs as they were wrapped in a blanket.

"If I had help it would go faster!" Eddie argued, groaning as he carried a pile of wood and dropped it into the small firepit. After a few tries, the fire came to life and the girls cheered.

Eddie joined them as he settled between Chrissy's legs, all watching the fire glow underneath the night stars.

[ravennaortiz]

11,22,43,52 with Chibs please. I’m rewatching SOA right now and I would love to read a story where the reader is the club princess who fell in love with Chibs.. thank u so much!🫶🏼

I too am rewatching SOA! I absolutely love the idea of the club princess falling in love with Chibs! Your very welcome, stop by anytime for another! As always my stories are 18+!

Princess

I'm not enough for you lassie. Too old and with you being who you are. I just can't lass.

You frowned looking up from where you stood in front of Chibs as his words echoed through your head. You weren't used to not getting what you wanted as the club princess. You had had a crush on the Scottish biker since he joined your brother and stepdads MC years ago. That's crush had slowly grown over the years into much more. You had fallen hopelessly head over heels for him.

Chibs sighed as he watched your eyes sparkle with tears. This was entirely his fault. He should have nipped this in the bud years ago. He had simply thought it was a young school girl crush and it would go away with time. It hadn't and now here he was trying to let you down as gently as possible.

His loyalty to your stepdad and brother prevented him from giving himself to you even though he wanted too. He couldn't deny you were a stunning young woman and anyone would be lucky to have you in their life and bed at night. But you were strictly off limits and every man in this club knew that. As much as he would love to feel your lips against his he just could not risk it.

You nodded as you sniffled and wiped at your eyes as the tears slipped down your cheeks. A mix of emotions battled within you. Maybe you could talk to Jax. He would okay it you thought and you could care less what your stepdad thought. Sometimes you truly hated being the club princess and how people treated you differently. A surge of anger had a challenge falling from your lips as you glared back at Chibs.

"Make me believe you don't want me" you firmly stated as you moved closer running your hands down the older mans chest to his belt which you started to undo. Chibs was slow to respond and you had his belt and zipper undone before he grabbed your wrist. "Stop" murmured Chibs trying to be gentle as he felt his own body start to betray him.

As sweet as you were he knew you had the Teller signature stubbornness and hardheadedness just like your brother. Rarely could wither of you be talked off or down from something once you were latched on. The smug look on your face before you spoke next had him worried.

"No one is here but us. Hell no one else knows I'm here. So whats he harm? Just a small taste?" you whispered as you walked forward making Chibs move back so you were all the way in his dorm room. Chibs swallowed hard and his brain was short circuiting as the implication of your words hit him. The sound of his door slamming closed as you kicked it shut had him snapping out of the trance and releasing your hands. Putting more distance between the two of you he rubbed his face.

Taking the opportunity you slipped your dress down and let it float to the floor around your feet. When Chibs turned back to you he swallowed hard as he took in your nearly nude body. "Jeezus Christ" he murmured as he snapped his eyes closed. "Put your clothes back on now" he ordered even though he was straining at the front of his jeans.

You huffed before rolling your eyes and moving towards him. Once you were in front of him you dropped to your knees as you tugged on his jeans. "Please Chibs?" you whimpered as you batted your eyes up at him. Chibs shivered at your words but quickly moved around you and left his room as he uttered a firm no.

***

"What's going on with you and my sister?" inquired Jax as he slipped into the stool next to Chibs a couple of days later. Chibs sighed heavily as he took a sip of his whiskey. It was no secret you had been cold with him and made your irritation known to the whole club since he had denied your advances.

"I thought I did the right thing but apparently not" replied Chibs not bothering to elaborate. Jax simply nodded as he looked at his friend. "Well I want you to fix it. However you need to" replied Jax after a couple minutes as his eyes trailed over to where you stood talking to a member from another charter.

Chibs had slipped outside for fresh air when he heard your voice raising into almost a yell as you struggled in the arms of a man Chibs had seen a couple times but not bothered to learn the name of. A surge of jealously had Chibs stalking over silent and grabbing the man before beating his face to a bloody pulp.

"Chibs!" you screamed as you pulled him back. Your eyes wide with fear and shock at his reaction. "Why di-" you started before Chibs lips on yours had your words cut off. Moaning you ran your hands through his hair pulling him closer before he pulled back a moment later.

"I would kill for you lass. I've missed you so damn much the last couple of days. I was a damn bloody idiot. Can you forgive me and give an old man another chance love?" begged Chibs as he looked into your eyes.

You gulped and simply nodded. "I love you Chibs" you whispered looking up at him with a soft smile.

"Love ya too lass" replied Chibs before he picked you up and carried you back to the clubhouse.

Want more Chibs? Click here

Want to make your own request? Click here

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

Hello!! First of all, thank you for all the amazing work you give this fandom, we're thriving thanks to your writing 🫶 second, I have a fic prompt 😊 I was thinking Donna has only had relations with reader once, and ever since then Donna hasn't had the courage to approach the reader physically. Donna is very shy and she's feeling very nervous around reader. She keeps stuttering and trembling around her. However Donna has been feeling more and more lustful, but instead she choses to avoid the reader physically more and more, finding random reasons to move away from reader and leaving the room abruptly. One day the reader announces they're going to the village to buy something but for some reason they return home early and they find Donna pleasuring herself in the living room. Donna is startled and ashamed and tries to run from reader but reader stops Donna and smut ensues 🤭

Can reader be AFAB and dom? Thank you so much!!!

Yess!!! Thank you for your request and for your nice words!!! I'm so happy with your support!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!! :))))

Avoiding you

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem!! Reader

Warnings: smut, Minors DNI, fluff, insecurities

Word count: 5,050

Summary:  Donna is starting to be nervous and you don't know why...

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!!I love you all!!!

“Hey, are you okay, honey?” You asked softly, gently stroking the hair of the woman who lay next to you in that poorly lit bedroom.

She nodded slowly, but without looking at your face. You couldn't blame her and you weren't going to. After all, that night was her first time.

Fate was sometimes capricious, and for you even more so. You couldn't tell what kind of heroic or altruistic act you had committed in the boring existence of your village life. But it rewarded you in the best possible way: by having in your hands the heart of Donna Beneviento, a powerful Lord, superior to all simple villagers like you.

A slow, almost desperate relationship, but one in which you used everything you had to make it move forward. Sick, scared, shy, it didn't matter what Donna was like at first, how reluctant she was to abandon her shame and use her own voice, to show you her face, always hidden by that horrible black veil.

But luck smiled on you again, it always smiled on you, getting Donna to confess her love for you, the desire she had to love someone, and be loved. She was an extraordinary woman, cultured, intelligent and kind. Everything was displayed in front of you as that black cloth disappeared and you could admire her beauty. Like a gift that you had not been able to open, Donna Beneviento revealed herself to you, just as she was, just as she wanted you to see her.

You had loved her for much longer. You loved her before you knew that the beautiful woman from the portrait hanging on the stairs was her, and not an illusion. Only the soft sound of her voice, her shy caresses and her innocent look could make you realize that none of that was a dream, but a reality, your reality.

“I haven't hurt you, right?” You asked again, looking worried at her face, ashamed for the pleasure she had received thanks to you.

She shook her head, not wanting to say anything, wanting to leave as a sample of her words, the high-pitched moans and desperate gasps from just a few minutes ago.

That was the last detail missing from your relationship, one that you used to give more importance to in other previous relationships. Intimate relationships stopped being simple moments of fun for you, now they were much more than that, it was the liberation of her shame, her shyness, it was naked love, in the purest sense of the word.

“I was as gentle as I could,” you whispered, trying to drag the words out of her mouth. That out of place comment made Donna move away from your chest, looking at you curiously and clumsily covering her body with the sheets.

“What do you mean?” She finally asked, her voice soft, low, shy, embarrassed by how scandalous it had been before.

You smiled at your small triumph, hugging her a little tighter.

“Well, I usually tend to be a bit more… Dominant,” you explained, getting embarrassed too. She growled in annoyance at your comment.

“I don't want you to talk about how you did it with other people, (Y/N),” Donna hissed angrily, clutching the sheets in her hands.

You grabbed them slowly, loosening the strength of her grip. You should have known how horrible it was for Donna to know that she wasn't the first, that your heart was secondhand.

“Sorry, it was just a comment,” you apologized, lifting her chin and capturing her lips with yours, calming the tremors that began to form in her body.

“What do you mean by dominant?” She asked, to your surprise. You laughed softly and shrugged, amused by that shy innocence, so unlike for a servant of Mother Miranda.

“Let's see... I don't know how to explain it. Let's just say that I like to be in control all the time, you know...” You sighed, being as impartial as possible. You didn't want to scare her or anything like that. It had taken you a lot to get there, to make Donna lose her fear of loving you fully. You didn't want to go back.

“No, I don’t know. That's why I’m asking,” the brunette responded abruptly. You didn't give it any importance. You were already used to her nervousness making her speak that way.

“Well, I guess someday you might want to try...” You sighed, ending that absurd conversation.

That night was wonderful. All her shy caresses, all her kisses, stopped being so shy at least for a while. You had achieved something that you thought was difficult, that Donna trusted you completely. From that moment on, the only thing in your head was excitement for everything that was to come.

It didn't take more than a couple of weeks to realize that you were wrong.

Slowly, Donna moved away from you. You didn't know why, you didn't know if you were responsible, you just knew that you missed the soft contact of her skin against yours more and more.

“What is my beautiful Donna doing?” You asked, entering the workshop where she spent more and more time. For a few days now, all you could do was to chase her around the house, to corner her so she had no choice but to talk to you, or try to.

“Hello, (Y/N),” the lady in black said, with a cold tone, which made you shiver and search your head for exactly what your mistake was. “I'm working on my dolls.”

 You rolled your eyes and nodded, moving closer and leaning on his shoulders, placing your lips on his cheek. Donna trembled, as if she had been scared, and turned her head towards you, blinking repeatedly.

“I’m, I'm, working,” she stammered when she saw your perverse smile, the smile that made her nervous, more than usual.

“Yes, I see that...” You said, letting her breathe with an arched eyebrow. “Am I bothering you?”

“No, no, it's just that... With you so close I... It's hard for me to concentrate,” she said nervously, moving in the chair, as if your mere presence was uncomfortable for her. You, not wanting to ask the reason for her strange attitude, continued with your usual jokes.

“Oh, I guess that's a compliment,” you purred into her ear, making her gasp at that mischievous whisper.

“Yes, I... No, I don't know, I guess so,” Donna stammered again, trying her best not to make eye contact with you.

“Donna...” You sighed, already impatient to know the reason for her worries, moving away and sitting in a chair next to her. “You've been avoiding me for two weeks. Tell me, what’s going on?”

“I'm not avoiding you,” she said, leaving the half-made porcelain doll next to her, with a serious face, but an obvious tremor in her hands.

“Aren’t you?” You asked, amused, incredulous, getting a little closer to her and placing your hand on her leg, to which she moved hastily so that your touch left her. “So what was that?”

“Nothing,” Donna replied, frowning, as if you had asked a stupid question.

“Nothing,” you repeated ironically.

“Niente,” she whispered, playing with the things on the table so as not to seem more nervous.

“Uh-huh,” you said, nodding, suspicious. “Well, then I guess I'll go...” You said mockingly, running a hand down her back and getting up from the chair.

“Wait, don't leave,” she murmured, grabbing your wrist to prevent your intention to leave the place. You didn't mean to, of course.

“Do you want me to stay?” You asked, crossing your arms. She nodded timidly, pointing to the chair you were occupying moments before.

You obeyed suspiciously, letting her work in silence while your mind wandered through all the possibilities that could explain her strange behavior. After thinking about all the options, only one of them remained your favorite.

“Hey, Donna,” you whispered, in the softest voice possible, drawing her attention in a non-invasive way, remembering yourself a few months ago, when Lady Beneviento was unable to speak for herself, when she used Angie to do it.

She stopped and then looked at you out of the corner of her eye, thus telling that she was listening to you.

“Is it because of what happened the other day? Is it because we made love?” You asked again, with that same delicacy. Her hands shook again, but she shook her head, trying to dispel that suspicion, which, of course, she failed to do.

“No,” she said with a dry voice, not bothering to look at you. She was nervous, and you already knew what could worry her.

“Did you not feel comfortable? Did I do something wrong?” You insisted, to which she sighed deeply, shaking her head again.

“It was, it was... Wond, wonderful,” Donna stammered with heavy breathing. You smiled pleased at the response.

“Okay...” You whispered, caressing her hand gently, making her close her eye at the pleasure of your skin caressing hers.

It might seem like it was a phase, a few bad days in which the demons of the lady in black prevented her from behaving normally. It wasn't the first time it had happened, but it was different. Her breathing was fine, she was not suffering from panic or involuntary spasms. The only thing that kept her calm was running away from your kisses, your caresses, each time with weaker and weaker excuses.

“Mmm, I love how soft your skin is...” You murmured, hugging the brunette in the bed, wanting to taste her body again, experience those sensations once again.

She laughed shyly, but her body moved away the closer it got to yours. You thought that maybe a second dose of pure love could take her doubts away, but it didn't.

The moment your hands caressed her soft skin beneath her nightgown, her fleeing movements grew stronger until, comically, Donna fell off the bed with a dull thud.

“Wow...” You laughed amused, leaning over the edge. “Donna, are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” she said, grumbling and rubbing her back. You tried not to laugh at her attitude, but without success.

“Come on, go back to bed,” you said, patting the mattress. She shook her head, dodging your hand from grabbing her nightgown.

“No, I... I'm going to take... A shower,” the doll maker said, excusing herself again. You nodded and got out of bed.

“Now? I'm in,” you said in her ear, preventing her from running away from you again, grabbing her by the waist.

“I... I...” Donna murmured, confused by the kisses you began to plant on her neck. She was shaking, embarrassed by your proposal. “Okay, okay… But, but we're just going to take a shower.”

Even under warm water you couldn't get close to her. The sight of her naked body was just like torture to your innate lust. But you didn't want to pressure her, tell her how much you missed those kisses, those laughs, those caresses...

All your attempts failed. Your advances went from being more discreet to displaying your naked body in front of her. Donna seemed like a different person, fleeing from that vision that she had previously considered almost like a goddess.

Nothing seemed to make her stay still, stop disappearing when your hands caressed her skin without warning, when you grabbed Donna and harassed her with your burning kisses.

Her nervousness was increasing and the heat of her cheeks revealed her desire to fulfill your own fantasies. But something prevented her. Something made her shyness cloud all the progress you had made.

“(Y/N)... I'm, I'm reading...” The lady in black protested while your hands went down her legs, while your mouth delighted in her skin while she read helplessly next to you.

“Okay, keep reading,” you said, skillfully untying several buttons on the top of her dress, making her close her eye and shake her head, trying to prevent your hands from going down or up her leg even further.

“No, no, I...” Donna stammered, overcome by the pleasure of your caresses, moving under the fabric of her dress, scratching her skin with your nails, surrounding the hot area that was between her legs.

“Shhh, relax,” you whispered, removing her underwear with your fingers and caressing her wet folds. Donna gasped in surprise and backed away, almost tripping in the process. It was another one of her comical escapes which you rolled your eyes at and couldn't help but growl in frustration. “Donna…”

“It's just that now... No, it's not the time,” she apologized, retying the buttons that kept her beautiful body hidden from your lascivious eyes.

“It's never the time for you,” you said with a slightly less soft tone, letting out some of your helplessness. “Come on, what's wrong with you?”

“No, nothing,” she stammered, controlling her breathing. “Everything's fine.”

“No, nothing's fine,” you corrected, standing up as she slowly backed away, looking everywhere except to your eyes. “Come on, let me give you some pleasure, you're looking forward to it, your body gives you away, darling...” You murmured, emphasizing the moisture that shone on your fingers, something that made her face to turn completely red. She backed away faster, stumbling and almost falling to the wooden floor.

“But what are you doing?” You mocked in amusement, laughing softly at her erratic movements. “Donna, come on, stop fooling around and come here, I just want to relieve you.”

She shook her head, looking around her, looking for some stupid excuse to get away from you.

“No, no, I... No, no... I can't,” Donna stammered, making you roll your eyes and walk slowly.

“Why?” You asked, with a serious, firm tone, grabbing her shoulders so she would stop shaking.

“Because I... I... Look, (Y/N), what a disaster...” she said in a slightly higher tone, pointing to the small fruit bowl that rested on top of the dining room table.

“What?” You asked amused, looking at the table and raising your eyebrows. Donna nodded and pointed her finger at the bowl to make you look at it again.

“Don't you see it? It's horrible,” she sighed, approaching that fruit bowl, taking the opportunity to get away from you.

“I don't see anything, Donna,” you whispered, scratching your head uncertainly. She always succeeded. She always managed to divert your attention from your lustful thoughts.

“That's it, nothing,” she said, nodding with a more confident look. “We don't have fruit, (Y/N)”

“Fruit,” you repeated, frowning. She nodded, walking over to a cupboard and opening a drawer, tossing you a bag of coins.

“Go, (Y/N), go to buy some fruit,” Donna ordered with a serious look, kicking the wooden floor impatiently. You, faced with the worst possible excuse, and tired of that strange behavior, tilted your head with an expression of distrust.

“Now?” You asked, playing with the bag of coins, starting to think that you couldn't do anything to change her mind, unfortunately.

“Yes... I'm, I'm hungry,” Donna murmured, hurriedly pushing you towards the door. “Come on, hurry up, go.”

“Hey, hey, Donna, wait a minu...” You said, before the door closed in your face, leaving you confused and frustrated again. “Oh, great…”

You sighed in defeat, walking slowly through the forest. Your thoughts wandered over recent events, wondering what you could have done to make Donna become cold and absent.

It was true that your experience with women was far superior to hers but... She decided to take that step with you. She agreed to make love that night. Everything went well, even better than you expected. A quiet chat, a moment of jealousy, and an explanation about your tastes that Donna probably didn't need were the apparent trigger for that erratic behavior.

Donna always liked your caresses, your kisses. She always hugged you to remind herself that she was not going to lose you. Why didn't she already do it? Why did she seem to tremble every time you approached?

You still didn't have an answer when the village appeared in your eyes. The sign on the small store said something that you already knew “closed.”

Donna was so worried about getting rid of your “harassment” that she didn't even notice the fact that it was Sunday, and the village was on its day of rest. At least that walk had helped you to get some fresh air after all those tense days.

Slowly, you walked back to the old estate, kicking the snow, imagining it was the physical representation of Donna's shyness. The waterfall rose in front of you, and your desire to insist to show the love you felt for her was going dangerously low.

You opened the door with a frustrated sigh, leaving the bag of coins on the small table in the hall. The house was dangerously quiet, more than usual. Normally Angie would be walking around the house, laughing sinisterly.

The door that led to the living room was strangely closed, something that made you alert. There was something there that wasn't normal at all. But, feeling that caution was your best ally at that moment, you decided not to call your girlfriend, not to ask about her.

Making as less noise as possible, you opened the door, looking around. It seemed like no one was there but… Oh, yes. Yes you could hear something. You weren't alone at all. Strange gasps reached your ears, making you walk slower.

It couldn't be true, but you were seeing it; discreetly peeking into the corner that you and Donna frequented when drinking tea or reading, was the lady in black.

Her legs were spread and her eye was closed. You could notice how something moved under her dress, her hand, which seemed to caress that area that seemed forbidden to you. Your mouth was open and you had to cover yourself to not make a sound. It seemed the most unlikely thing, but you were seeing it.

Donna was pleasuring herself, although you couldn't see it, you could sense it because of her slow movements and her small moans camouflaged with gasps. A sudden heat appeared between your legs, and you decided to enjoy that strange and exciting vision.

“(Y/N)...” The lady moaned, as her movements changed, letting you know that her wetness was being caressed by her fingers as she threw her head back, increasing the speed.

Not sure whether to interrupt her or not, your body made the decision for you, walking a little closer to her, who seemed oblivious to your presence, sweaty and overwhelmed by her own pleasure.

Before you had time to take advantage of that moment, you decided that you wanted to join in the fun, or, at least have a better view. Just seeing her, hearing her moan as her hand got lost in her dress, could make your body tremble, eager to participate.

“Wow, wow... Are you having a good time?” You murmured, moving a little closer, making her stop immediately, opening her eye wide and turning her head towards you.

Donna moaned in surprise and embarrassment, removing her hand from her dress and wanting to disappear from that place, her face red with excitement and embarrassment.

“(Y/N), what? What are you doing here?” She asked scared, trying to hide. Too late for that...

“If you wanted to get away from me and be alone, you just had to tell me, honey,” you joked, approaching the couch slowly, leaving her no room to escape, something she was already willing to do.

“No, I... I wasn't doing anything, I...” Donna murmured, looking for something on the couch, something that you had already seen resting on the floor.

Gently removing her hand, you picked it up, showing her discarded underwear to her deepest and most painful embarrassment.

“Are you looking for this, my love?” You joked, playing with the garment in your hand. She moaned at her humiliation and tried to take it from you, which you prevented by gently pushing her back onto the couch.

“Please, please, let me go...” She begged with a broken voice on the verge of crying. You relaxed your attitude, but you didn't let her go, keeping your hand on her shoulder.

“Donna, Donna, Donna...” You whispered with a mocking voice, trying to reassure the lady in black, who had never suffered such great humiliation, or so it seemed. “Why were you touching yourself without me?”

“I wasn't,” she lied, looking away from you, in vain, because your hand rested on her chin, forcing her to look at you.

“Please...” You sighed, laying her down on the couch so she wouldn't be tempted to run away. Knowing that under the black fabric of her dress there was only her skin, her wet entrance, only made you even more excited, lying on top of her, with your legs on either side of her hips.

“I can, I can explain it,” she said defeated, sighing and closing her eye in shame, trying not to feel the currents of pleasure that the movements of your hips sent to her body.

“I'm looking forward to hear it,” you said, approaching her lips, moving your hand up her leg, feeling her hot skin under your nails, forcing her with your fiery caresses to confess the reason for her extravagant and… Exciting, attitude.

Even if your first intention was to let her talk about it, her neck screamed for you to fill it with your kisses, for your teeth to bite her skin while your hand made its way to the wet center between her legs. She was terribly aroused by her own touch. Maybe you could take advantage of that.

“(Y/N)... Please...” Donna moaned, unable to resist your soft touch, your fingers slowly running through her wetness, up and down, without rushing, making her hips dance with yours.

“No, Donna,” you said, shaking your head, taking your hand away from her to rub her inner thigh, making the lady moan from the lack of contact, the contact she wanted so much. “You are a very naughty woman…” You whispered seductively, making her shyness reflect again on her face while she tried not to express with her eye the desire she had for you to continue.

“Please... I, I'll tell you everything later, just... Just touch me, please...” She murmured with her hand on her mouth, biting her knuckles to repress her burning and obvious desire. You raised your eyebrows and shook your head.

“Oh, now you want me to touch you?” You asked with a hoarse voice, running your other hand over her chest, getting rid of the annoying buttons on the top of her dress. Poor Donna could only nod. “I'm sorry, my love... You've been avoiding me for a long time and... And I find you touching yourself... I want an explanation, darling, or I won't touch you.”

Donna moaned childishly, hitting the couch with one of her fists. You laughed amused, planting small kisses along her chest only covered by her bra.

“I just...” She murmured, with a tone of voice that didn’t correspond to pleasure, rather, to shame. “Why do you have to be so cruel?”

“Cruel?” You asked, surprised by that accusation, forgetting about your torture to listen to her reasoning.

“I was never with anyone and you... You did things... With other women and I... I'm useless,” she said, relaxing her breathing. Hearing that statement, you paused in your actions, bringing your hand to her cheek and brushing the thumb over a tear that fell from her eye.

“You're not useless, Donna,” you said, now with a serious, firm tone, stopping the lustful movements of your hips.

“I am, don't pretend I'm not,” Donna said, sitting up and frowning, angry and frustrated.

“Come on, don't tell me you didn't want us to make love just because of...” You said, slowly discovering the reason for her nervousness.

“What did you want to do it for? So I would make a fool of myself? So you could go back to those women who did wonderful things to you?” She snapped at you, letting out her true feelings. You could only put on a tender smile before bending down to kiss her lips salty with tears.

“You're not useless, Donna. Don't make a fool of yourself. I like to love you, I like you to love me. I'm not going to go with anyone else, I don't want anyone else, you understand?”

“But I’m not…”

“Shh, silence, my dear... Let me take away those doubts from you,” you whispered, diverting what seemed like a painful confession, towards one of your acts of love, or lust, you were also quite needy.

Your hand went to hers, taking her fingers and bringing them to your mouth in a sensual manner, enjoying the taste of her arousal in them, something that made Donna moan.

“You're delicious, Donna,” you whispered under her watchful gaze, and she looked at you surprised and excited by your actions. “I love your flavor.”

She smiled shyly, a blush replacing the sadness on her cheeks. Her lips became autonomous, kissing yours passionately. It seemed like everything was back to normal, but you still had a small grudge that you weren't going to forget easily.

“Mmm, what I should do with you now?” You asked to yourself, letting her hand go and pretending to think of a punishment for her actions.

“Touch me, please, make love to me...” She asked you, taking your hand between her legs, under her dress, which covered her bright arousal.

“But hey, are you demanding me?” You joked, covering her wetness with the palm of your hand, stroking her painfully slowly, making her gasp and kick at the lack of intensity of your touch.

“I can, I could beg you... I need you...” The doll maker whispered, moving her hips to increase the friction, which made you laugh sinisterly.

“Beg then, Donna, you've been a bad girl,” you whispered into her ear, biting her earlobe and tugging lightly. She nodded, her eye already closed, seeking that relief that you interrupted, and for which she was being punished.

“I'm begging you, (Y/N), please...” She murmured, gasping at your soft caresses, at your finger slowly playing with her clit, with her most sensitive spot, making her moan for this contact.

“It's not enough, my love,” you said, feigning a pout, lowering your finger to her entrance, running over it without entering, increasing her need even more, making her body stir under yours. “I want you to tell me exactly what you want, Donna.”

“I've already told you, I... I want...” She said, with a tone of protest, fighting against her own body to not touch itself again, something that you could notice by the position of her hands, very close to yours.

“If you want me to touch you, I want to hear it from your lips one more time. I want you to put an end to that absurd shyness of yours,” you said with a serious, almost threatening tone. You definitely couldn't be the way you were before, with other women. No, Donna didn't deserve the humiliating treatment you enjoyed, but that didn't mean you couldn't have some fun.

“I want...” She murmured, burning with desire, moving her hips again while your fingers sank little by little into her moisture. “Please, (Y/N), make love to me…”

“Well...” You sighed, giving in to her pleas, introducing your finger inside of her, making her sigh in relief and relax her body. “I guess I have to listen to you…”

Slowly, your finger worked into her wetness beneath her lustful moans, ones that had nothing to do with hers from her first time. You could finally know how long she had been repressing her desire, her own lust, just for the stupid reason of being afraid of not being good enough or experienced enough for you.

“Do you want more?” You asked with a softer tone, but still torturing her with slow movements, with caresses under her bra, with kisses on her skin. She nodded profusely, to which you smiled mischievously. “I haven’t heard you.”

The sternness of your voice caused another anxious moan from her lips and another desperate movement as yours became slower and slower.

“More, (Y/N), please,” she asked through clenched teeth, furious at your demands, so shocking to her shy and reserved nature.

“Are you going to be a good girl?” You asked, caressing the skin of her cheek, playing with another finger at her entrance, ready to please her if you heard what you wanted.

“Yes, yes, I'll be good,” she said, moaning at her words, wanting to move in a way that meant seeing her desires fulfilled.

“Are you going to touch yourself again without my permission?” You asked with a purr, relieving the brunette's anxiety with more caresses on her chest, with more kisses on her skin.

“No, no, (Y/N)...” Donna gasped, smiling at your attitude. Apparently your dominant side didn't scare her as much as it seemed.

“Who should touch you, my love?” You whispered, playing with your fingers, wanting to fulfill her wish, for her body to arch like that time, like your first time.

“You, just you, please...” Donna begged, pulling at your clothes, having difficulty controlling her movements. “Please…”

“It's okay, Donna... It's okay... You're a good girl...” You whispered before inserting a second finger into her body, making her moan in relief when her wetness covered your fingers, when your movements became firm, doing just what she needed.

Her moans and hip movements became messier. You knew she was close, embarrassingly close.

“(Y/N), I…. I'm going to...” Donna moaned hurriedly as you curled your fingers, making her body tense, her back rising and her walls hugging your fingers, screaming in pleasure, enjoying her release.

“Good girl...” You whispered in amusement, licking your fingers as she caught her breath. “I love you, Donna.”

She looked at you, still exhausted, and nodded, with a shy smile.

“Me too, so, so much... Forgive me, (Y/N), I just...”

Your fingers rested on her lips, silencing them as your gaze darkened.

“I never thought I would say this but... Donna, shut up. I think I can find a better use for your tongue, you still owe me one...”